Xion's Opinions on the Other KH Characters
by Mademoiselle Anime Amour
Summary: Xion returns with a vengeance! In this sequel, she takes a gummi ship trip as opposed to road trip-she can't stress that enough across the universe. What random people will she see? And what about the opinions? READ MORE TO FIND OUT! Rated T.
1. Namine the Misunderstood Artist

**A/N: It's baaaaaaack! XD You didn't think I'd come out with a Xion's Opinions sequel, did you? Well, I didn't think so either until I read an old review that Divine Wolf sent me. Basically, she said that she would have wanted every freaking character in Kingdom Hearts to have Xion's nice (or unfavorable) opinion. So, I did just that...at least for some of the characters. Not for everyone. Also, guys, this story is going to be longer than the original, but only by a chapter. Because, as you will read, the format will be different but still contain Xion's wit. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 1: Namine the Misunderstood Artist**

Ah, how thoughtful of you guys to read my opinions on my fellow members! That was nice; seriously, if I had a heart, I would say how happy I was. This time around, I will tell you what I thought of other people I met while on a gummi ship trip...as opposed to a road trip. I went world hopping like you wouldn't believe and met some, um, interesting people. A couple of crazy characters, though I otherwise enjoyed the trip. Before I left, though (after packing exactly one suitcase), I paid a visit to my unfortunately imprisoned pal Namine. Oh, and for those of you who just squeal about me and Zexion together, I gave him a goodbye kiss after a random conversation. Let me brief you on it real quick before I move on to Namine, shall I? Anyway, I packed my things rather enthusiastically when my divine Mr. Science walked into the room. To say the least, he looked confused.

Tapping his chin in puzzlement, Zexion asked in his favorite inquisitive tone, "Where are you going, Xion? Wouldn't Xemnas stop you from going on a trip to begin with?"

I sighed melodramatically but smiled nonetheless upon seem him. That guy just makes me grin now. Practically dancing over to him, I performed a ballerina twirl for showing off purposes only.

As I captured him in a tango he was unsure about participating in, I told him, "Now, my dear Dr. Logic, you need not worry about me. I'm just going on a gummi ship trip for a couple of weeks."

Still obviously confused once I dipped him, he blankly repeated, "Gummi ship trip?"

I grabbed a rose that rested fondly in a vase (since he actually gave me one...though was secretive about it) and put it in my mouth.

Leading him in my dance for the truly mad as a hatter type of people, I resolved to bestow him with a gift of reassurance by saying, "It's Superior approved, lovie. It was a bit of a hostage situation, since I threatened to eat his bacon that I had in possession if he didn't let me go on my soul-searching expedition. He replied in the affirmative, that dear old man."

"Was it really that simple?"

"Ah, you ask more questions than Sherlock Holmes! Yes, it was, 'nuff said."

Zexion smiled that slight smile of his. "Well, good luck."

Kissing him on the lips quickly, I answered with, "You hold down the homestead while I'm gone, OK?"

Toting my suitcase without much effort, I broke into a run toward Saix's door, which I opened to yell, "MAAACBEEETH!" to wish him ill luck. It had been a favorite habit of mine lately, so I can't really explain it.

Now, with that bit of a time waster out of the way, I will tell about Namine. So, I took the stairs two at a time to avoid Saix murdering me in cold blood. I heard him running after me like a savage beast, after all. Bursting into her room abruptly, I grinned apologetically to my only female friend in the castle as I slammed the door.

"Hi, Namine," I greeted, waving a gloved hand anxiously. If Number Seven came to kill me, I wouldn't have known what to do. As if reading my thoughts, she smiled knowingly.

"Trouble with Saix again?"

Looking up, down, and all around, I then resignedly dropped my arms to my sides. "Yeah."

She gestured me to come here, which I did, and then she whispered, "I got a hunk of meat in the fridge."

I was surprised that the Organization had been charitable enough to donate a mini fridge to Namine. Probably Axel sneaked it in for her, proving how much of an anti-hero Robin Hood he is. Removing meat from the fridge, she teleported to where Saix was, which I found out later was the stairs leading to her prison—I mean, room. Oh, scary! I'm telling you, I could have died that day. Then, thinking about Saix chasing after the meat like a rabid dog made me laugh uncontrollably. I still laughed extremely hard by the time Namine returned. She giggled herself as she wore an incriminating smirk that said how rabid Saix had acted about the meat.

"Whatever you thought happened, it did," she reassured me of my mental image.

OK, now here's the background story of how I first got acquainted with the girl my age. It started with when I heard Marluxia and Larxene laughing away in the cafeteria. They usually laughed when they knew sadistic things, so I wasn't surprised of what I found out once I interrogated them. In mid bite of a sun sandwich, Larxene abruptly put it on her plate while I fired away.

"Right, Psycho Nymph, what did you do _this _time?" I asked, slightly irritated at her. I guess that made sense, considering this happened two weeks after I destroyed our "friendship" explosively.

Looking smug and self-satisfied enough to make me want to puke, she replied, "Marluxia and I captured a pathetic little girl your age, and she can help the cause."

"Just when I thought the gravy train that is your brain couldn't spill any more times."

It was my way of saying how sick I thought she was for doing this. We then competed in a death glare match.

Unfortunately, Marluxia ruined the match for both me and his peachy rose of a girlfriend. Note the overwhelming sarcasm. He conjured up a rose for the guardian angel of our charming fairy tale palace, which seemed to considerably calm her.

After what I thought was a huge waste of time, he added, "She has the ability to draw actual memories. They will finally be palpable at last to proceed with...Why am I bothering to tell you this, Fourteen? You're just some mere shrimp of a girl who could barely grasp the complexities of Organization duties."

"Thank you, Flower Boy," I said sarcastically, standing up from my seat. "You can get back to whatever it is you're doing with Ms. Sugar Fairy Princess."

"You're one to talk, you flirt! Why else do you hang out with Roxas and Axel?!?"

Shaking my head out of disgust for that deplorable personage, I left the cafeteria without another word. So, I spent the rest of the day searching for the mysterious girl on my own. Not even Axel and Roxas were involved. I found a set of stairs that I randomly mounted to discover a white door. Upon opening it, I glimpsed a blond girl scribbling away on a piece of paper using crayons. Nothing but white all around, I obviously noticed. Heck, even the girl's dress was white. She was either obsessed with the color or Marluxia and Larxene have puny imaginations for color scheme. Though those two definitely weren't lying about her captivity; this whole room resembled a prison. As though to torture her, those two hung up a fake cage with a doll inside.

Ugh, I need to beat them up some time! Well, in the mean time, I would introduce myself. She didn't look like a threat after all. No Larxene-like violence detected. Safety positively, absolutely ensured. If not, and she was just a child robot ready to kill me—well, it's a good thing I wrote a will a while back. To Axel, I bequeathed my TV...

"Oh," the girl practically gasped, clearly thinking I was the emotionless child robot out for a bloodlust. "You're...one of them, aren't you?"

I invited myself to the table at which she sat. "Well, it depends what you mean. Do I work with them? Yeah, but it was against my will. Am I evil? Heck no! Those two people you met are horrible people. They remind me of lover partners in crime. And they make me gag."

A weak smile formed on the girl's lips. "You don't seem all that bad. I'm Namine."

Warmly stretching a hand in greeting, I told her my name. "It's Xion, Number Fourteen. Occupations would be member against my will and prankster. My likes: food, friends, TV, reading, food, sparring, food, going to Twilight Town, and food. My dislikes are sadistic people, Zexion, and huge egos. That about covers it. Ah, what are you drawing?"

Of course, my dislikes no longer include my much "loved" boyfriend, but that's beside the point. I had been curious for quite some time regarding what she currently scribbled out on paper, so I took a peek. She drew a guy who wore a strange outfit that made him almost resemble a cartoon character. The sketch itself didn't look shockingly amazing, but not bad. If I had to rate it on a scale of one to ten, I would give it a seven.

Namine noticed my not-so-subtle peering over at her picture as she smiled a little unsurely, probably thinking that her work of art wasn't that great. But, whatever, she drew way better than me.

"I'm drawing Sora—he's the Keyblade Master, you know. Still...this isn't my best work. I can sketch landscapes and buildings better than people."

I grinned, replying, "Well, hey, I can't even draw stick people right. So, compared to my lack of skills, you're a creative genius."

She burst out giggling, almost forgetting for one moment that she was kept like a caged bird here. Maybe all she needed was just one friend, one person to make her laugh.

We got to talking shortly after my random comment, so that we became fast friends in a matter of minutes. Actually, we had some things in common like the favorite color of sky blue, and we both thought the ocean shores were beautiful places. I managed to have someone whom I could share a female bond with. Considering Larxene would have gutted me like a fish, I found a great confidante. Our conversation, which seemed to last for hours, covered a variety of topics. Even boys came up in the subject.

"Seriously, my friend Axel could use a calm girl like you. You two would be _awesome_ together, not to mention cute," I declared, truly believing that this was possible.

And, to prove my point, she blushed. "I've only seen him once...but I'd like to get to know him."

Those two crazy kids might very well have by now. If not, I seriously have to set them up!

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**A/N: In case anyone cares, this A/N will be devoted to some fun facts to show that there is INDEED a method to my madness. XD**

**1) In theatre, "Macbeth" is the worst thing you can say before a show. Ever.**

**2) The fridge idea just randomly popped up. **

**And 3) I could so see Saix becoming a werewolf XD**

**Well, this is back! I'm so excited, and I gotta go to a party soon, and blah-blah-blah. Just tell me what you think of the Xion's Opinions sequel, all right?**


	2. Sora the One Prone to Violence

**A/N: Again, this is a random chapter. By the way, I can't believe how quickly people "came back" in a sense to read this sequel. Thanks, guys! I guess the first one really was that good enough to deserve a sequel. This one is in which Xion sets out on her adventure and meets the main hero of KH. By the way, though I may not be too fond of him (he killed most of the Organization after all), I try to make him at least likeable in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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**Chapter 2: Sora the One Prone to Violence**

With this whole background story I just told you guys in mind, I knew I would absolutely _have _to say goodbye to my girl BFF before I left. Naturally, I felt like I needed to explain why I would temporarily leave. The fact that Namine asked me the reason about five times or so also had something to do with it. Wearing a laid-back grin, I replied to this breezily.

"I'm going on a gummi ship trip."

"A gummi ship trip?"

I'm guessing I probably looked at her like she was stupid or something. "As opposed to road trip."

She mouthed, "Oh" before smiling amusedly, wondering how I got this by the big cheese. Doesn't everybody want to know that? Seriously, holding someone's bacon hostage can cause miracles.

Well, Xemnas had looked awfully tired that morning, too. Maybe that had something to do with it, because the dude had dark, dark, and _dark _bags under his eyes. He practically dropped his mug of coffee, blearily slurping it. The last time this happened, Axel almost set the whole place on fire. Yeah, it's a long story, and now is not the time or the place for long stories.

"When do you plan to be back?" Namine then asked conversationally.

"In two weeks or so, not like Xemnas can stop me. His word is law around here. Well, I gotta go."

"Bye."

"Bye." I waved to her before sliding down the railing at the steps outside her room. Ah, I knew right then and there I would be lonely on this trip, since I wouldn't have any good friends for company.

It's a self-discovery thing, I thought as I teleported over to the massive gummi ship garage (also white—someone needs to be punished for the lack of color scheme). It wasn't like I needed anyone with me for that. Still...having a rad friend around would have been nice. Oh well, no need to bum myself out over unnecessarily sad thoughts—I had to spontaneously go on the solo adventure of my life. I drove off into hyperspace at many, many miles per hour, and I felt this major adrenaline rush. It was as if I downed twenty cups of coffee, ate five boxes of doughnuts, and had an entire bag of sugar all at once. However, I wouldn't recommend driving one of these babies if you're easily nauseous. I'm just saying. My first destination happened to be a charming, optimistic place called Hollow Bastion. I say this with the utmost sarcasm.

Parking the ship in the local garage, I hopped off it, so that I could proceed to explore the town, which did look as depressing as its name sounded. It looked like a place rebuilt after a major catastrophic nuclear explosion. I was really surprised that I saw people going about their business. I mean, I wouldn't live there. I would rather live in the Castle of Pristine Whiteness and Psychotic, Sociopath People any day. Trying to appear as inconspicuous as only a person wearing a strange robe could, I gave myself a tour of the place. The people wore drab expressions on their faces, as though they lived in a dictatorship. Why, who's the leader? Xemnas? Haha, I laugh at that! Yeah, if he's so intimidating, why does he only rule two castles? I could take him more seriously if he took possession of whole worlds. Wait...no, I wouldn't.

Getting quickly bored with the rather pathetic "sights" this town had to offer, I took the liberty of exploring the outskirts. Now that was what I called beauty! There was even this one spot that had these amazing crystals so huge that I could see my entire body in these millions of reflections. I made weirdly flexible poses as well as silly faces, treating this place like a house of mirrors. Well, I had never gone to a carnival before, but I at least got the experience. If only I ate pounds upon pounds of fluffy pink cotton candy and funnel cakes and pretzels! Ah, so much food, I could imagine drowning in it—yeah, there's nothing better. Before I drool, let me tell you what happened that interrupted my childish fun.

A kid with weird hair reminiscent of a character from this cartoon I watched (I think it's called an anime) ran after me. He wielded this giant key that looked exactly like mine. Even though he looked much crazier than I figured he'd be in person, I had a gut feeling this guy threatening to slice me like a pizza was Sora himself. Hm, I had always wanted to know what he looked like, since I heard Xemnas talk about him over and over. Still, I hadn't been expecting...

"Who are you?!?" Sora shouted, pointing that giant key toward my throat. Whoa, talk about paranoid. I suppose a conspicuous black robe would be suspicious. Even so, he didn't know if I stood for good or evil. I could have even been an alien from the planet Zorkon disguised as a Nobody for all he knew. Seriously, I thought I had problems, but this kid sure took the cake. I shudder to wonder how he met his friends...with him wielding a chainsaw?

"I come in peace!" I replied, tossing aside my Keyblade so as to calm Sora, who almost seemed intent on considering me an enemy. "I know my rights. Hm, let's see...I got the right to remain silent. And I'm innocent until proven guilty by a court of law—speaking of which, don't take me to Wonderland please! That Queen of Hearts is _loco_. So, where's your squad car?"

However, though I attempted convincing him, he planned on doing battle with me. He shoved me against the crystals while I performed a somersault over his head. Halfway up in the air, I fell painfully down on the ground once he hit me hard with his weapon.

"Ouch! Paranoid, much?" I winced as I stretched my limbs. Ugh, I heard my back pop then! Stupid kid planned on crushing me, eh? Well, important dude or not, I wouldn't stand for his attitude.

Our keys clashed against each other, metallic ringing sounds surrounding this limited space. I performed flips that any acrobat would envy, while Mr. Paranoia insisted on bringing me down...literally. At one point, we leaned against the crystalline walls, out of breath.

Between pants, Sora told me, "I don't know who you are...but, you look way too much like Kairi."

"My name's Xion for your information. Oh, and as you should know by now," I said conversationally, flashing a cocky smirk at him, "messing with me is a bad idea."

"Well, I didn't know who you were."

"So, you fought me? Dude, you have some serious trust issues."

I swear to Kingdom Hears (our beguiling moon that we're all relying on) that Sora smiled a little. Wow, I thought he was dead set for hating my guts. I guess this shows that fighting a battle can clear up some misunderstands. Granted, that's a rare occurrence in itself, but I'm glad this exception happened in this case. After all, I didn't want to harbor any real resentment to the one guy who could be like a brother to me in a sense. Allegedly, judging from what I've heard, I'm connected to him in some way. Might as well get along with him then—I can't hate the hero, even if I don't technically play one.

After a minute's silence, he replied to my comment, "When your island's been destroyed by these crazy Heartless, you're bound to be paranoid _just a little_."

Hmph, the kid had my spunk! I almost laughed at him, because I could hardly believe the similarities.

Then, I truly pondered over the meaning of his words, clearly discerning that he talked about himself and his destroyed home. Even though I'll probably be singing, "If only I had a heart" for ages like the Tin Man, I could get the feelings he must have felt. Being separated from his friends and family must have taken a toll on him. Naturally, he'd be prone to distrust.

"Well, I know if my home was destroyed, I'd be beating the crap out of random people with my Keyblade, too," I joked slightly. "Because I wouldn't like being separated from my friends Axel and Roxas...or Zexion."

Sora's brow skyrocketed to his forehead. "Who's Zexion?"

"He's a guy who causes me to be a total sap around him. But, guys like you usually throw up at that stuff anyway. I know Axel probably would."

He smiled as though he didn't mind me talking about my boyfriend, which was a huge surprise. Firstly, most guys would have taken out the buckets at this point. And secondly, if they managed to hold in their vomit, they would want to talk about monster trucks. By the way, that was something Axel actually did once. When that didn't work (I ignored him, wearing a proud smirk, as I told him about my date with Zexion—a night under the stars), he plugged his ears and sang...badly. I then threatened to tear out his vocal cords if he didn't shut up and listen. Conjuring up this memory currently gave me spasms of laughter. My new friend of five seconds joined in, though he probably had no idea why I laughed.

When our chuckling died down, he stated casually yet rather fondly, "I got a girl back home. I hope she's waiting for and thinking of me. She's Kairi, the girl who looks like you."

No wonder he avoided insisting on changing the topic to monster trucks, I thought with a grin. If he had someone he sincerely cared about back at his home, then listening to me talking about my special someone couldn't have irked him. So, since I felt like a sister to Sora, I wanted to lend him a helping hand. Maybe I could do him a favor. And I knew the perfect thing.

"Hey, Sora," I called his name just before he left, "would you mind if I checked on your home to see if it's back to normal?"

He grinned optimistically. "Yeah, that'd be great. They're called Destiny Islands."

I nodded at him amicably before raising my hand in proper farewell; to my satisfaction, he shouted goodbye before officially departing toward his two weird lackeys I saw just now. Oh well, they looked disturbing. Who cared about them? I had some islands to look for.

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**A/N: Welcome to the 2nd edition of Xion's Opinions Fun Facts! YAAAAAAY! If you care...**

**1) I really liked Xion's sarcastic nickname for the castle at the World That Never Was. It technically never had a name you know...**

**2) Yes, I put the KH timeline out of whack on purpose, so that she could conveniently meet the characters. Forgive me (avoids darts being thrown at).**

**3) The Crystal Fissure looked like a place with funhouse-like reflections. So yay for carnival reference!**

**4) Yes "The Wizard of Oz" exists in the KH world, because I said so, that's why! XD**

** 5) I forgot to mention Donald and Goofy, so I referred to them as "two weird lackeys." Why, you ask? Well, read KH: The Short and Honest Version by NCHammer326, and then you'll know why. XD**

** 6) I wanted Xion to act like she was arrested for more humerous value. And isn't the justice system at Wonderland just a bit whack?**

**and 7) Guys usually don't like talking about lovey-dovey stuff, knowing from experience. So, how about monster trucks, I say? Axel probably would talk about them. XD**

**Review please!**


	3. Kairi the Girly One Who is Definitely

**A/N: In which the Kairi as we know her from the games is pwned. Badly. After all, she DID annoy the crap out of some people, me included. Also, yes, the timeline is whack so that she's her KH1 (the easiest to make fun of and most annoying) self. Yeah, I know. But, whatever. For those of you who have noticed that the timeline is indeed out of sync, _I know_. So, no need to remind me. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that happens to be referenced or the game.**

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**Chapter 3: Kairi the Girly One who is Definitely _Not Like Me_**

I decided that driving the Organization XIII gummi ship through hyperspace toward some tropical islands created a bonding experience. With that being said, I fondly named the ship Geoffrey. Obviously, that meant I had nothing better to do, but I never had a pet as a Somebody. I don't even have a pet now! I had to find something to fill the void besides my heart being gone. A nice set of beaches with white sands greeted Geoffrey and me upon arrival. I was just happy for Sora that they still existed. Once his adventure of epic proportions ended, he could come home to the place he loved and the girl he loved as well. Speaking of which...well, let's just say meeting her is not a high point of this story. Well, I hang out with guys all the time, so that probably accounts for something. But, I get ahead of myself here.

Surprisingly, a garage had been built on these islands, where I hardly expected such a thing to be. In that rather spacious place, I parked my good pal Geoffrey and patted his steering wheel. Then, I stuck my head out to bask in this warm summertime sunshine that washed over everything it touched. Glints of gold nearly blinded my eyes, though I enjoyed how truly golden these islands appeared to me. Oh, I could take up permanent residence on Destiny Islands if I wished. And, believe me, I wished with my entire not heart that I could toss aside all Organization-related duties forever. I could implore of Zexion to reside in a cheaply bought beach condo with me, and we could sip lemonade together while staring at the sunset. Really, I could imagine that sunset, too.

Light purples would mingle with the faint pinks and silvery blues that retained a bit of that eternally summer sky—can I just move away right now? Yes, I'm being sentimental here. I guess that's what a tropical setting can do to you. It certainly gave me a rush of...something I have barely experienced before. Without much thought to my actions, I walked the sandy beaches in broad daylight, disregarding whoever might be hanging out there, too. Admittedly, I got too distracted by the calming sights and sounds around me. Ocean water lapped the beach temptingly, begging to join it as one. Forbidden love is like that, I dreamily thought. Ah, go figure. That's what I get for my random obsession with romance movies recently along with the pints of ice cream that come along with them. I especially like those period romance movies and... See what being on a tropical island does to you?!?

Well, come on, please don't blame me for living in a dream come to life! You guys would act like that too, like I said. Those palm trees looked so beautiful too, fronds swaying in the gentle breeze stirring through everything. It makes a Nobody feel like she's not alone in the world, seeing this picturesque scenery. I honestly wish that I could become a Somebody, a privilege I have never received unlike my other Organization colleagues. If I could get that chance, I could make myself a nice documentary about the beach. I could film it and show it to my best awesome friends. Light up the silver screen to show my masterpiece to a rapt audience, captivated beyond compare. I'm going to float away on a cloud, proud of being a director, even if it's a very indie one.

Seriously, why am I being so poetic? Not even I know the answer to that question, so ignore me by all means. I guess a place like this did make me want to randomly sprout wings and fly up toward the sun, not caring if I got virtually burnt to a crisp in the process. Oh well, I might as well continue this until I get off-topic for the umpteenth time in a row. As I wandered down the beach, I noticed a girl standing by the ocean. She seemed to be staring out beyond the waves to search for...something. Oh heck, all I noticed besides that was that she wore _girly _colors.

No, this could absolutely not be the girl Sora compared me to. That's outrageous, disgusting enough to make me want to puke! I hate pink, absolutely detest it! And here this girl was, wearing light purple and pink.

I'm a tough girl, so obviously, I don't go for stuff like that. Then again, I hang out with guys a lot, and I'm bound to act like a dude at random. I even burp loudly to make my buddies laugh along with me. One time, I pulled this gross prank on Marluxia... Of course, though, no one wants to hear about that. Basically, I refuse to conform to acting like some frilly, prissy princess who holds tea parties every Saturday afternoon. For those who read my opinions on my Organization peeps, you would know I'm far from it. Still, Namine wears a white dress all the time, and she doesn't annoy me with whatever feminine-ness she possesses. I figured that maybe I could try befriending this peppy, girly girl for the sake of pleasing Sora. If I felt like a sister to Sora, then maybe I could with her. After all, she probably was the Kairi who he talked about. Why not? I usually give people a chance before I like or dislike them.

Just as I prepared to say hi to her, she actually turned around and stopped watching the ocean for once. Hopefully, she would be polite and not call me a freak. Because if she did, I would have been ticked.

"Hi," she said cheerily, almost in a ditzy kind of way. After all, what sane person would greet someone in a weird, uniform robe that may or may not be required to wear in some sort of—I don't know—secret organization out to destroy the world? Well, I guess this was better than having a nice shiny Keyblade against my throat. I don't know, though. Maybe this was because she was a girly girl?

I stuck my hand out. "Hi, my name's Xion."

She did the stupidest thing and giggled. "I never heard that name before. Oh well, my name's Kairi."

I swear that one of my blue eyes twitched as I gently shook her hand. The fakest grin was on my face.

OK, I admit it, she wasn't impressing me too much with her harmless yet completely irritating behavior. Why couldn't she be like Larxene and slap me in the face? Better yet, why couldn't she be like Namine by behaving almost normally? I guess by that I mean just being...well, I don't know, cool. Kairi just seemed annoying by being too nice. And the giggle...don't get me started on the giggle. She sounded like a girl android that Vexen might have invented. Sorry to creep anyone out with that mental image. In fact, I shiver right now just thinking about such a possibility. Ugh!

Hating to be impolite, though, I kept up my friendly façade. "So, what are you doing out here?"

"I'm waiting for Sora to come back," she told me dreamily. "I know we'll be together again."

Oh, Kingdom Hearts, how do you shut this thing off?!? Honestly, how could Kairi be real with talking about her beloved as a conversation piece? She didn't hear me talking about my boyfriend and how amazing he is. I mean, she could have a boyfriend and still be her own person without wasting entire days waiting for Sora to return on his clearly epic adventure. Has she ever read an entire book trilogy on how long basic epic adventures last? Has she even _read_? I felt like slapping her in the face for thinking about Sora so obsessively like that. At least Zexion and I give each other some space. Oh, I felt a feminist rant coming on. No woman lets a man control her every move like that, even if it isn't on purpose. I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. Poor Sora, the guy who's like a brother to me spiritually speaking. If Kairi didn't turn rabid by wielding a knife (because all robots must malfunction some day), I would give him a sisterly hug.

Be polite, Xion, I scolded myself. Just hang out with this android/girly girl for a few more minutes, and then you're home free. Think about the boys back home. After giving myself my little pep talk, I fake grinned again.

"Well, that Sora guy is a lucky fellow then. Hm...I have a guy, too. But, uh..."

"Is he thinking of me now, do you think?"

"Yeah, probably," I replied dismissively, waving a casual hand. "You know, I wouldn't mind living on these beaut-i-fulll islands. I'm just here for vacation, though."

For once, Kairi actually acknowledged me. "Xion, this place is great. I love it here."

"Who wouldn't?" I asked conversationally, with a bit of enthusiasm. Finally, she wasn't talking about Sora.

Tossing my short black hair out of my eyes, I strolled about the beach for a bit, still within speaking distance of the girl. Maybe she wouldn't be so bad after all. All it took was to know her for a few more minutes, and we could get along swimmingly. I wouldn't mind that. We could be good buddies, friends, chums, pals, _amigos_—

"This place just doesn't seem as great without Sora's voice. I can still hear it."

Ah, no way! Who did she think she was, The Perfect Girlfriend Bot 5,000?!? Sure, sure, the devoting nature is cute at first. It really is before it starts interfering with ordinary conversations.

Personally, I had just about enough of Kairi's behavior.

I stopped in my tracks, my previous smile imploding on itself, and I turned around to face her. My eye was definitely twitching now, and my hands were shaking.

"That is it!" I shouted, veins in my neck throbbing. "You are too perfect a girl to Sora to be real. Is he all you ever think about?!? Seriously, what is up with you? You spend day in, day out waiting for him. He'll come back! Don't be so OCD about it!! Besides, have you ever remotely considered getting him for yourself?!? Get a life! Do something to have you near him again if you're that obsessed with him. But, just to pound this into your empty skull, YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO WOMEN EVERYHWERE!!!! Aarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!"

After a rant that would have done an easily angered anime character proud, I stormed off. Sure, I was being mean, but can you blame me?

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**A/N: ****Pwned. See? Just like I promised. And, as Xion said, can we really blame her? I think not. XD**

**More fun facts comin' at you!**

**1) Don't know why I gave the gummi ship a name. I was just tired of calling it "the gummi ship." For some reason, I prefer the spelling of Geoffrey like this: Geoffrey instead of Jeffery. Don't ask. Maybe it's 'cause it's the Brit spelling of it.**

**2) Period romance stuff is like "Pride and Prejudice" and "Little Women." I have a guilty pleasure for stuff like that.**

**3) Don't know the rambling description either. Then again, I had the Golden Globes on TV while writing this. I wasn't even really watching it.**

**4) Yes, Kairi seems to be a caricature here. Then again, she is just too easy to make fun of, MWAHAHAHAHAHA! XD**

**and 5) Xion's rant is partially inspired by the "Krusty Love" (I think that's the name) episode off Spongebob Squarepants in which Spongebob declares he's basically had it with doing romance-related errands for Mr. Krabs. Yes, Spongebob. I know. XD**

**Next up is Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie. Hint, hint: Selphie also gets pwned big time.**


	4. The Island Kids, the Decent, Partially

**A/N: OK, so all of you are probably asking yourselves, "Why is M writing about those island kids? What the heck did they even DO in the games?" Good questions, guys. All I know is that random crap happens in this chapter, and those three kids just happen to be witnesses. That's all.**

**Don't worry, though. The Riku chapter is coming up next on Saturday. And that's way, way random.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything referenced. And I probably got the song title of that one "Wizard of Oz" song wrong, so forgive me for that. I don't own it either by the way.**

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**Chapter 4: The Island Kids the Decent, Partially Sane Ones**

Well, two out of the three kids I met were partially sane...not sure about the mental state of the third one, though. But, that's going to be explained in a couple minutes. In the mean time, I stomped away from Kairi angrily, wrapped up in my fury. Yep, I was like a bad Christmas present in the whole wrapped up in fury sense. I was like the lump of coal you got if you managed to screw up your chances with the parentals or the grandma sweater that is very itchy no matter how many times you wore it. I was that and worse. What did Sora see in that girl? Well, aside from the fact that she had unfailing loyalty (too much of it, if you ask me) toward him, she was just a swell person to be around. I say this with the utmost sarcasm, of course. Maybe it was because she was so agreeable that Sora liked her. Ugh, that explains why Zexion's so smug whenever I say he's right about something.

Ah, but I love that little smartie nonetheless. Uh-oh. Thanks to Kairi's constant thinking about her beloved hero, I was starting to think about my guy way too often. And I was missing him, which gave me the desire to hop on Geoffrey to go home. Still, I had soul-searching to accomplish, even though my soul steadily got into disrepair. By that, I mean I felt a tad cruel for yelling at Kairi. OK, I would go back and apologize. I still didn't like the little priss, but I planned on saving my soul, which I wanted to search instead of sending it into oblivion. My conscience needed to be saved. Subtly, I glanced over my shoulder to discover Miss Stupid Future Pageant Queen...

...gazing out at the ocean, wearing that same expression I had first seen out of her. For serious! It figures, actually, because she really did look like a ditz. OK, I didn't feel bad any more.

Namine beat out Kairi for best female friend potential any day of the week, and that was official. From what I hear, they're connected in a Nobody/Somebody sort of way. Thank Kingdom Hearts Namine isn't like her Other then! Completely flustered and indescribably ticked at this point, I blew out my held-in breath, which lifted a lock of my hair into the air. What was it with people on this island? Wait, I only met one person so far, I stand corrected. Nonetheless, I couldn't believe how much of a ditzy android/zombie hybrid Kairi acted. Too bad I didn't bring my zombie hunting kit with me. Yeah, I really bought one off TV. Hm, my mind wanders as usual. Hoping not to meet any more zombies on my visit here, I walked toward the opposite side of the island. If a person I met on one side of the island was weird, maybe the other side would have perfectly normal people.

That thought cheered me up drastically, and I felt like doing some backflips right now. At least I had more common sense than Kairi. At least I was a woman who could be independent and have self-respect. I got more pride and dignity in one finger than she does in her whole body! Victory! My revelation found out, I skipped while singing, "We're off to See the Wizard" at the top of my lungs. And I can't sing, because I am not some pathetic princess who has tiny singing mice for friends (or animals in general). I can spit far better than I can sing. Honestly, I'm proud of being an atypical girl. Eventually, I stopped my extremely off-key singing due to this knowledge.

"Let's face it," I told myself aloud. "I don't want everyone on this island hating me just because I can't sing worth a crap...even if I'd like to make Kairi yell at me."

Yes, that would have been a camera worthy moment right there, to see her depart from her sugary, cookie cutter self to threaten strangling me. Believe it or not, I like honest people who brutally pound the truth into me. In fact, when I randomly compared Axel and Roxas to types of cheese the other day, they had fun pretending I was a piñata. See? They showed that they didn't like being compared to pepperjack and cream cheese, respectively. Then again, I shouldn't have made those metaphors—they almost sounded mean. But hey, I at least got what should have come to me. Kairi seems to be fake to me, because no one can be that nice. I have seen human nature firsthand, and it's not a pretty sight.

OK, I guess some people are sincerely kind like Sora and Namine for instance. Kairi may very well be, too. Only difference is that she just carries that out in an annoying way...and she might not even mean to do that.

Anyway, enough about her, the little faker. I met more interesting people on these islands, where I decided perhaps I could not live there. Who would want to live within miles of someone who frustrated her? Or him—of course, I would include the guys in this one! However, the natural beauty here was undeniable, enough to make a Nobody mellow out and crave to become a Somebody again. Maybe we as an Organization could send Xemnas there, tricking him into thinking he's on an uncharted island. Then, he'd think he was stranded forever, because we'd never come back for him.

Imagining that practically caused me to laugh so hard that I even dared to snort a couple of times. Ha, it sounded like a good plan to me! The best part of that scenario would have to be that the three of us (Axel and Roxas and me) would host a luau afterwards. Could we have Saix as the roast pig please? He may not have much meat on him, but, ha, he's food! Let's all be cannibals. But, since we're not human, let's call ourselves _un_cannibals—you know, a lot like unbirthdays in a charming place called Wonderland. That world might be whack, but I love random. I was still laughing to myself, when I heard these kids talking about the beginning of school in plaintive voices. Ha, suckers, having to go to school! Wait a second, though...what is school, besides being a bad place? I wish someone would tell me.

Unfortunately, for the three of them, they heard my laughing at the exactly wrong time as well as the wrong place. Seriously, I should have conjured up my weird mental images somewhere else instead of this spot. Talk about this "school" place must have depressed them, and they probably thought I was laughing at their expense. To say the least, that was not a good first impression.

"What?" the tallest kid out of the three (the one with orange hair) asked, "Are you laughing at our expense? School is miserable for us, man."

I cleared my throat. "Sorry, guys. Don't mind me and my randomness. I had weird thoughts about something else—happens to the best of us. My name's Xion."

The kids looked at me like I was someone from the circus. Yeah, like I have beard. Sorry kids, but you're going to have to look elsewhere for your odd spectacle. Then again, I have a knack for saying random things, especially my introductions. They're a bit on the madcap side. However, they all smiled at me...well, everyone except the girl.

"Was that you singing two minutes ago?" she asked testily, tapping her foot impatiently. "Because if it was, you really sucked!"

What is it with girls on this island? Did they all get brainwashed into a set of ideas of how girls should behave while the dudes were spared? If so, then I'm obviously on some whackjob scientist's island, and I gotta get out of here!

"Hello to you, you charming personage," I greeted sarcastically. "What's your name?"

Happy to have the metaphorical spotlight back on her, Miss Overdramatically Insipid and Dumb told me rather arrogantly, "My name is Selphie."

"Yeah, and you're not in this conversation. What about you two?" I asked, pointing at both the guys, who looked pretty sane to me at this point. The girl (ugh, Selphie, what a name!) annoyed/freaked me out due to her irritating ways. And I thought Kairi was bad.

In the mean time, while I stewed in my irked thoughts toward _her_, the tall kid said, "My name's Wakka and Short Stuff here's name is Tidus."

"I'm not short! Yeesh...look, the guy's lyin', obviously. I should know—I've known this crazy guy since I was in diapers," Tidus defended himself, but that hypocrite grinned anyway.

This caused me to grin back. Now, these guys I liked! They weren't standoffish or annoyingly stupid in any way, shape, or form. As for Selphie, I could definitely not say the same. She stood there near the ocean, frowning as she tapped her sandal foot impatiently. Did I detect some jealousy from her? Puh-leeze, I have a boyfriend, and I really intend on being loyal to him. Tidus and Wakka are just fun guy friends. Besides, she could be disgusting enough to have more than one boyfriend...very scandalous indeed.

"So, Xion, you're on a trip around the worlds? Wow...so, do you even go to school?" Tidus inquired.

I smiled in my special, laid-back way. "Nope, Tidus. I don't even know what school is."

The two boys glanced at each other and laughed along with me, though I still don't know what school is.

Wakka buckled under so much laughter (literally), placing his hands on his knees. Still shaking with deep belly laughs that had an exotic flavor, he said, "Amazing! Xion, you're so weird that you're interesting! Hahahaha! Whew, you're funny."

Apparently, Miss Idiot Girl aka Selphie disliked the fact I had a sense of humor. Fed up by my natural charm at this point, she shrieked, "Go away! Can't you see nobody wants you around? My boyfriends hate you so much, they're even laughing at you. GO!

I cackled like the evil witch she thought I was, before I informed her, "Yeah, that's exactly what I was after, hon. I'm a maneater who's after your hot boyfriends."

Selphie threatened to chase after me, but I walked away while shrieking with laughter. And hey, the boys got the joke, too!

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**A/N: Hm, not many fun facts this time around. Then again, this chapter seemed to fly by for me when writing it.**

**1) The singing mice part is off "Cinderella", Disney's version of course. I used to like that movie...until I realized one day that Cinderella was just one of the biggest Mary Sues ever. That pretty much ruined it for me.**

**2) The crazy scientist owning an island thing is in partial reference to "The Island of Dr. Moreau." I've only heard of it, never watched it. I'm usually not into old movies except a few of them.**

**3) I thought Xion's confusion about school would be hilarious, since she never really knew a school. Unless Organization XIII training counts. XD**

**And 4) Yes, there are chicks who go out with more than one guy. They go to my school, OHHHHH! Seriously, though, it's not entirely rare.**


	5. Riku the Resident Bad Boy

**A/N: Well, obviously, no one gave a crap about the island kids, since I only got one review the last time. That's OK, though, I don't care about them myself. However, it's on to a character that people DO give a crap about, and that's Riku. Let's take a look on Xion's impressions of him, shall we? And yes, the title is vaguely sarcastic. Still...well, here you go.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH or the random stuff that's referenced.**

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**Chapter 5: Riku the Resident Bad Boy**

Severely disappointed in some of the lousy people on Destiny Islands, I hopped inside Geoffrey to travel elsewhere. I still couldn't believe how those girls over there acted. One was obsessing longingly over her boyfriend, and the other one was insistent on being a high-maintenance...well, let's just say it rhymes with witch. And that hint doesn't get less subtle than that. Really, those girls made me look sane in comparison, I realized. Well, Zexy better be thankful for what he's got. I grinned somewhat arrogantly upon concluding that I didn't have such an imposing, pathetic personality. Still, it was a shame that those beautiful islands had to be populated with such female freaks. In that case, the guys must be normal. As I decided which world to land on next, I remembered the world I often visited with Axel and Roxas.

This world was nice and peaceful, almost to the point of it being boring, but it wasn't bad. There were these beautiful sunsets that outshone every other one out of all the worlds, pastel colors everywhere. And, of course, the ice cream there is so delicious! You all know I'm big on food, right? Well, this ice cream in that place is a perfect blend of salty and sweet. Most people would have been turned off by that weird blend of flavors in a dessert but not me. When I first got a stick of it, I had been a little wary of the actual taste. But, one bit into that powdery blue colored ice cream, I was in heaven. Mmm, it was so good that I could have eaten ten of those things! Of course, I'm rambling about food again, so I'll stop. I've been reputed to talk about food for three hours at a time.

I landed Geoffrey in the one and only Twilight Town, the place where we eat a lot of ice cream. I'm just glad I don't gain weight easily, or I would weigh five hundred or so pounds by now. But, I overexaggerate. By the time I exited the gummi ship, night had already fallen. After all, I had spent an extremely disappointing afternoon on Destiny Islands, where I couldn't move to, no matter how much I wanted it. Somehow, the idea of possibly having Kairi and Selphie as neighbors didn't appeal to me. I would probably be after Miss I LURVE Sora and Miss Don't Touch My Five Hundred Thousand Boyfriends with pitchforks in a matter of minutes. Ugh, I hate those chicks! Right, I took a look around the darkened town, not really used to seeing this world be without lazy afternoon light. I guess there has to be night everywhere at some point or other. It was really too bad that there weren't any ice cream stalls open.

I sighed and figured I might as well go back to sleep inside good ole Geoffrey for the night. No one sane would be out past dusk, so there would be no one new to see. Hopefully, if I met anyone tomorrow, it would be someone not annoying or subservient to someone with oddly curled hair. Just as I stepped inside the safe gummi ship that I held hostage (and I would probably be subjected to writing "I will not steal the Superior's personal gummi ship" a thousand times on the Organization chalkboard, Nobody symbol and all), I heard something. Footsteps from behind me apparently tried to act subtle. I smirked. Too bad that Nobodies have heightened hearing—at least, it was too bad for the intruders. OK, maybe I could fight this guy attempting to accost me.

Sorry, buddy, I'm taken. Maybe you should have flirted with me last month.

Removing my Keyblade from my robe sleeve, I waved it around like someone who had recently escaped from the asylum. While doing this, I slowly stepped toward the source of the footsteps.

"All right, buddy," I drawled casually, though I grinned from the fun that was going to ensue on my expense. "The jig is up. Which is really a crying shame, because I love to dance. And it takes two to tango. Save the last dance for me, future chum."

OK, sure, what I said to the stranger was my way of trying to play the part of witty villain. However, I placed too many "dancing" expressions into my talk with this person, so I probably sounded lame. Oh well, I bet he probably didn't care about the attempt at comedy...banter, in fact.

Unfortunately for me, I ended up getting knocked upside the head by something, though I surprisingly didn't fall unconscious. I must have been dropped on my head when I was Nobody-born. Wow, this whack was a dirtier tactic than Sora coming forward to attack me the second we met. For one thing, at least I saw him brandish his weapon at me. Not only that, but he made himself known to me. This guy was all like, "Kill first, ask questions later." I personally don't think that's a very good policy to live by, but hey, I'm not him. Mystery Person struck again, though I parried his attack this time, which granted me the chance to glimpse the weapon itself. It was kind of creepy looking, because it reminded me of a bat's wing. And I hate those little devils, those rats with wings. A just as creepy "eye" (that's what it looked like) was right on that bat sword's hilt.

Oh boy, this kid probably thought he had the whole goth style going for him. Though I do admire guys with a tad bit of darkness to them, this was ridiculous. Was he trying to be a bad boy? Then again, do clean-cut people of the male persuasion perform sneak attacks on random strangers? I think not. OK, so he was the resident bad boy here...no arguing with that.

Still, to hide my intimidation, I grinned. "Nice weapon you got there—the Bat Wing Blade, interesting. Impressive. What's with the eye thing at the hilt? Seriously, that weapon is way creepy."

"Hm...obviously, you're not intent on fighting, judging by that big mouth of yours," the mysterious boy muttered and sighed heavily. He almost sounded annoyed with me. Then again, who isn't?

I turned around to see what this kid in the nocturnal shadows looked like.

Wow...by wow, I mean, "Wowowwowwowholycrapwow!" He was...so unbelievably cute. He could have almost made me sway on my high regard for Zexion had I considerably weaker loyalty. But, I didn't, so I could consider this just an attack of the hormones. I gotta admit, though, he _was_ pretty hot. Sure, his eyes were concealed by a blindfold, but he had a fairly structured face. To add to his enigmatic presence, he kept his fine looking countenance guarded, as though he didn't want anyone to come onto him. Ermm....I think I like bad boys. Maybe it's just a girl thing, but I love guys who could be in mystery novels. I could see him in a novel, acting as seducer to a female detective...No, curse you, estrogen!

"Sorry," I replied in a feigned cold manner. "I'm spoken for by a beautifully smart guy."

Yes indeed, and though this guy standing before me had some looks that must have come down from the heavens, Zexion had an alluring mind. My boyfriend had looks and brains. Ahhh...

"What?" the kid asked, bewildered from my remark. Wait, I said...oh...oh no.

"What?" I asked at the same time, recollecting my words from before. Then, I shamefully blushed as I added, "Wait, did I say that aloud?"

This must have been when I had the mental image of me in a Sherlock Holmes outfit interrogating the innocent yet manipulative suspect. And, as I accused him of the crime, he tugged at my collar...seductively. We were just inches apart before I cockily said I was taken. Er....and I did say that aloud.

Finally, after the silence, he said rather awkwardly, "Yeah, you did. It was kind of weird."

I gulped down my anxiety self-consciously. I wasn't just "kind of weird"—quite frankly, I was straight-up insane. This is what happens when I meet a new, attractive guy.

"I bet that was painfully awkward for you then. In any case, I'm Xion," I introduced myself amicably, hoping he would forget my shortcomings. Note to self: no more daydreaming while in the middle of a conversation. Spacing out can lead to some serious consequences.

He shook the hand that I offered and said, "I'm Riku."

After saying that, he sighed again out of reluctance. Obviously, since he wore a robe that matched mine, I guessed that maybe a higher ranked person sent him after me. Great, I had no idea that Twilight Town had a secret society of assassins on the prowl! I shudder to think.

Not that Riku was a bad guy, but I had this strange inkling that I was going to eventually be taken somewhere against my will. Still, I wanted to know who lead the group of assassins after me. Well, at least I had a weapon.

"OK, Riku," I declared, pointing my Keyblade proudly up in the air. "Take me to your superior. I am ready to fight him to the death!"

He scratched his silver head. "I actually don't work for anybody evil, if that's what you were thinking."

I smiled smugly. "I'm just stirring up the drama of the moment."

"Though...unfortunately, you're right about one thing."

My smile faded as I pondered over Riku's words. What was he saying? Was someone just as mysterious wanting my head on a silver platter? If not that, what could this be? All of a sudden, it came to me. The reason probably had something to do with me being a Nobody. Throughout all the worlds, we Nobodies are the inevitably despised.

For once almost _afraid _to ask, I inquired, "And...and what would that be, Riku?"

He sadly shook his head, concerned about breaking the news to me. I don't know why he would, though, unless it had to do with...

"I have to take you somewhere," he murmured, his tone practically inaudible. "Somebody told me to do this. Sorry."

And, with his weapon, he knocked me out hard. Another note to self: never let hormones interfere with any objective.

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**A/N: All righty then. Ah, curse my love for Rion! Curse it! Because it was way too tempting to write Rion in this chappie, it seriously was. But hey, Xion is loyal to Mr. Smarties aka Zexion, so things should work out. Well, here are just a smidgen of fun facts for you.**

**1) I decided that using dance cliches as banter would be kind of interesting. After all, they can say some pretty cheesy stuff in those old movies.**

**2) Mystery novel thing...OK, now THAT was random. No more Lifetime for me. XD**

**and 3) Yes, the cliched knocked-out scene, which is a whodunnit in itself. Yet, even though the timeline is obviously off at this point for convenience purposes, I think you guys can figure out who the "bad guy" is. XD He'll show up in the next chapter.**

**Later, guys, until the next update!**


	6. DiZ the Nobody Stalker

**A/N: OK, the DiZ chapter. Dundundun! XD This chapter is bound to be a tad serious due to this, though will still retain some humor. That's kind of what makes Xion's Opinions Xion's Opinions. You know? Well, anyway, on with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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**Chapter 6: DiZ the Nobody Stalker**

I've read about main characters getting knocked out in countless books. It's almost become a cliché in itself, the whole being knocked out then coming to process. And usually, the character wakes up in a dark room that could scare the crap out of anyone. Including me. I guess since this process had happened to me now, it was no longer a cliché. Nope, it was just real. Big difference. Anyway, when I did wake up, I found myself in a cramped room all right, only it wasn't dark. If anything, it was the polar opposite of dark, what with all these blue lights coming from half a dozen computers. OK...I was either in a really bad science-fiction movie or stuck in a reclusive scientist's strange bachelor pad. Either way, I was in trouble. As for the guy who got me into this mess, he stared blankly at these strange screens. I wasn't sure if fighting could work.

"Well, Riku," I spoke conversationally nonetheless, "kidnapping me and taking me to this charming place certainly isn't rubbing me the right way. You know, I don't even think this should happen on anybody's first date."

The last sentence was a joke to act as a sort of ice breaker. All it did was intensify the already tense atmosphere. Noting this, I tried again with a more somber tone.

"Honestly, I actually kind of wanted to be your friend. And this certainly isn't helping with the current impression I'm getting from you."

His lips forming in a slight scowl, he responded darkly with, "Don't remind me."

Likely guilty from treating me like dirt, he seemed to be rather bitter about this.

Nothing I could say could alter his mood any, as much as I hated to admit to myself. Rarely, my jokes failed with anyone, but it certainly did with him. He was like Zexion before our first kiss...well, our first almost kiss. Still, why should Riku bother to torment himself with this issue? I was normally a forgiving person.

"Who's the big cheese of this place anyway?" I asked, somewhat tempted to press the keys on the keyboard under all these computers. I wondered if I could make those babies malfunction.

That would show Mr. Head Honcho—heck yeah. It would be great vengeance.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose Riku replied, "He told me not to tell you his name."

"Wow." I shook my head. "You can't seem to give me a straight answer. That's an epic fail."

At this point, Riku looked extremely exasperated, not to mention overly put out by my comment. I couldn't resist teasing him now concerning his cryptic words. Heck, he was remotely lucky that I even took this so well. Option B would have been to panic by flailing my arms about all over the place while screaming bloody murder. Better to joke than to freak out, I always say.

"Hey," I softened my voice to assure him I hadn't been serious. "I was only teasing. If I don't keep myself sane by doing that, I'll go crazy. Believe it or not, I'm hating this situation."

I thought a dry smile twitched at his lips. "Me too. The guy who came up with this stupid plan said he'd come here in a few minutes."

Poor guy, having to play second fiddle to a dork who stalked Nobodies.

Nope, Riku definitely wasn't that cruel a person, even if his prior actions had said differently. It was the way he executed them in a reluctant fashion that told me that he meant no harm to me. I bet the guy who put him up to this was probably bummed out to learn that he didn't make me look pathetic and weak enough. Whatever, the sooner I met this sadistic schmuck, the better. How could I soul search while I was like a bird? By that, I mean a trapped bird. As I quietly sat there on this weird platform, I saw a man mysteriously appear. Since this room was practically bathed in blue light, I saw him.

"Ahhhh, a resurrected mummy! I knew it!" I (ironically) freaked out over the person.

For, he did have these crimson bandages wrapped around his head.

It would make sense in my nonsensical life that an undead person would hold me captive. Perhaps he would get rid of my internal organs from the inside out. OK, imagination, this is not a good time to be so vivid right now. Please disappear. Perhaps all those horror movies I watched with Axel and Roxas were coming back to haunt me. What little appetite I previously had from thinking about sea-salt ice cream vanished.

Meanwhile, Mr. Mummy/Nobody Stalker appeared affronted, judging by the way he straightened his back angrily. What? He seriously resembled a freaky mummy.

"Whatever assumptions you may have based on if I am a creature of the supernatural are entirely false," he spoke to me haughtily, like he had some ego.

I rolled my eyes at said egomaniac's eloquent defense, because, come on, I didn't even ask him if he was a mummy. And he didn't need to respond in a manner that would compel me to take out a dictionary. I barely understood what he meant by his words.

"Ugh...do not, by any means, talk so eloquently. Dang, I can barely understand you!" I groaned, nearly slapping myself silly. "You could have just said, 'Dudette, I'm not a mummy!' I could have understood that better. Besides, I have a splitting headache that almost made me ask Riku if I was dead or not."

"Dead?" Riku raised an arched brow. "You just looked like...you know what? I have no part in this."

I smirked merrily his way. "Of course you don't. Because if I died, my boyfriend would be after you."

Hm, well, if there was one thing this trip taught me, it's that I definitely value Zexion with my not heart. Ugh, relationships can do that to you—makes me into a sap, that's for sure.

Please don't call me obsessive. All right, feel free to, because I know you will.

Ignoring me, the guy in the red robes turned to the silver haired guy. "Riku, I commend you for capturing this Nobody minx. Out of all the members, I would have considered her the most elusive. Perhaps her brain capacity is lower than I presumed."

OK, shame me once, shame on you. Shame me twice, shame on me. I had had enough of this resurrected mummy already. Spirited as always, I stood tall to appear hostile.

"Listen, buddy," I warned him irritably, "you don't mock my intelligence like that. And who you calling a minx?!? You a perverted old man or something? You're a Nobody stalker!"

Holding back his head, the enigma laughed mirthlessly, definitely not humoring me any.

"Perhaps it is time I tell you my name then, Nobody," he told me condescendingly. "My name is DiZ, and I am merely interested in satisfying my vendetta."

I longed to compete with that creepy old dude in a glaring contest. I hated being called Nobody, which was definitely like being less than a person. It made me so bitter.

Graver this time, I said lowly, "I have a name you know, DiZ. It's Xion, in case you care. I may not have known you for very long, but I know you're a heartless man. Even if I don't have a heart myself, I know that much."

His steely amber eyes that managed to be visible from behind his bandages narrowed, deep in thought. He showed nothing but disdain and arrogance toward me. Yet, I wondered how he could possibly harbor this much hatred against Nobodies. How did it all begin? Moreover, why would he bother with me? That guy was a pain in the butt, but he had some issues. Then again, if you dress up like that and go around stalking Nobodies, the word _issues _don't even begin to describe you. And why would he hire Riku as a lackey in the first place? The kid looked way smarter than that, and he probably wouldn't have accepted all the munny in the world to be subjected to doing DiZ's bidding. Ha, what a name! DiZ...yeah, whatever comes out of your mouth about dizzies me from confusion. Ha, get it? OK, that was bad, but I hate being serious for long.

However, on the rare occasion that I did sober up, I somehow affected this DiZ guy, because he didn't even open his arrogant mouth for a while. When he did, his voice sounded like mercy. Despite the considerably less harsh tone, he was still eloquent and depressing.

"Whatever you prefer to be called by, I assumed that perhaps you could provide me with some intelligence regarding your friend. I see now that you will only serve to be disposable. Therefore, you can provide me with nothing. Riku, take her away."

I knew what that last sentence implied, causing me to grin braggingly.

"Ha! See? Holding me captive was pointless, after all. Don't be so sadistic next time, Mr. Mummy. All I needed was to sway you. I outconned one of my best friends to do him proud."

I rubbed my hands gleefully, glad that I metaphorically took pages out of Axel's book in the conning department. Or so I said. I'm usually honest most of the time, so I technically didn't con. But hey, it sounded good and true to my random self.

As Riku appeared near my side to escort me, I smiled, waved, and shouted, "Bye! Catch you on the flip, Mr. Mummy Dude!"

"For the last time, you impertinent girl, I am not what—"

Blah-blah-blah, translated my helpful mind for me. Wearing my smile still, I let my new friend kindly lead me out the door. DiZ was so lame. I mean, how could he just look at me and be like, "This chick was a waste of time" after arranging my kidnapping? Lame-o!

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**A/N: OK, fun facts time!**

**1) I know this probably isn't that new, but I actually model Xion's narration style after Max's off Maximum Ride. Check that series out, it's good. XD**

**2) Back in old Egyptian times, they would take internal organs in the mummification process. Sick, isn't it?**

**3) Injecting DiZ's overly eloquent speaking style into this, so I could have him use the word minx. I always thought 'minx' was a funny word.**

**and 4) OK, OK, I just always wanted to use the term 'epic fail' in a story. This happened to be the perfectly good time to do so.**

**All right, next chapter involves some kids in some town...OK, you probably already know what it is. Trust me, this is most likely more amusing than the Island Kids chapter (oh why, oh why did I have to use those kids...?)**

**Oh, random thought! Invader Zim is on Nicktoons channel this week. WOOOOOOT! Sorry, I missed that show so much, just watching it in reruns is worth it.**


	7. The Twilight Town Kids: Some Normal

**A/N: The chapter title reminds me of tomorrow, when "Alice in Wonderland" comes out. SQUEEEEEE, I can't wait! XD I might not initially watch it in theaters (because, as an only child, I hate going with my parents, who aren't even into Tim Burton movies, ah!), but the fact that it's out...Oh, I'm psyched. Anyway, on with the chapter, in which Xion recovers from her kidnapping experience.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 7: The Twilight Town Kids: Some Normal, Others Mad as a Hatter**

All right, technically, I met with six of these people, so I gotta be quick in telling what happened with me and Riku. As soon as we stood outside the silver gates that lead to some old, crumbling building that held these computers, I just stared at it. It's safe to say that I won't go near there again. I'm not even going to take a last parting photo of that creepy place. My friend sighed heavily once we got to a proper place for talking.

"Look," he told me gravely, "I'm sorry that I had to do that. DiZ is kind of a creep."

"Kind of?" I arched a doubtful brow. "Dude, he has the most messed-up sense of humor of anyone I've ever met."

A faint smirk touched Riku's lips. "Yeah, and he's not a fun guy to work under either."

I pitied him somewhat yet didn't envy his current situation in life, serving under a master on the brink of madness. We said goodbye to each other on the best terms.

Free from the twisted plots of some guy (some _sadistic_ guy) who happened to have a lot of time on his hands, I decided to hang around Twilight Town. I mean, it was time to actually have a real trip instead of being captured. If anything, being temporarily kidnapped opened my eyes to make me see the world in a rejuvenated light. Yes, stuck in a boring room for ten minutes can change someone's outlook on life! Actually, I talked with DiZ for ten minutes—I had been in that room, knocked out, for twelve _hours _straight. Twelve hours! Hm, if I don't want to waste time in my life, I have to avoid being unconscious. So, I wandered into the refreshingly peaceful town, happy to be liberated. Humming joyously, I even had a little spring to my step. I felt like hugging everything, too.

That got kind of ruined once I heard a random dude shout, "Stop!" which I adhered to without really thinking. What now? Come on, people, don't put me in a cage! Don't start a Twilight Town Nobody Zoo here. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed a guy wearing weird clothes that didn't quite match along with two other kids with the same problem. They looked like people who thought they were down with their bad selves.

"Yo, dudes, what's the 4-1-1?" I asked casually, attempting to adapt to the way I thought average teenagers talked. Still, I'm obviously twenty years behind in teen speak.

"You're trespassing on our town. I'm Seifer, and we're the Disciplinary Committee."

I responded to the head blond guy, "That's whack, dawg. You guys don't look like you—"

"You questioning our cred?" the blond's guy friend inquired. "We don't appreciate that, y'know!"

Arching a confused brow in reaction to Seifer's friend's reproachful protest, I placed my hands on my hips. This trio was starting to amuse me. Who the heck did they think they were, deeming themselves so cool? After all, community service just isn't cool, all right? Then again, I believe that because of the Organization's messed-up perception of community service, I hated it. That idea meant cleaning the Superior's room spotless if you accidentally broke Saix's vase worth a gazillion million munny. At least...that's what happened to me. Since I loathed that definition of community service, I figured that's what it was.

"Name?" some random girl in the trio asked in a monosyllable.

There are way too many freaks in this group, I thought while rolling my eyes.

Who even spoke using one word all the time? I wouldn't think that would make a good conversation. Heck, I could see someone walking away from her after two minutes.

"I'm Xion," I replied, a bit freaked out by her. "So, how'd you guys get hired to—?"

"Fuu, Rai, and I hired ourselves," Seifer interrupted aggressively, seeming to dare me to tell him otherwise. OK, I'm not gonna argue on that point.

I scratched the back of my head. "OK...so, it's just an excuse for you guys to bully people."

Rai pounded his fist against his other hand. "Y'know it!"

Oh, puh-leeze! Utterly sick of these people, I walked away without technically carrying a conversation. Then again, who would with those kids? I disliked them thoroughly.

"Bye," Fuu (the blue haired girl) called out toward me, though I ignored her definitely. Sorry, I don't hang with bullies. I mean, Axel rags on Demyx all the time, but that's different. Bored with that part of town, I wandered over to the other side. On the way, I passed a cute yet strange creature who told me his name was Vivi. We didn't talk for an excessively long while, but we did talk about video games for a bit. That was cool.

"I'll challenge you to Pac-Man some time, little buddy!" I yelled after him as he toddled away. Aw, what a cutie! We both got the fever that that particular game has, that's for sure. He loves his arcade games as much as the next Heartless look-a-like/short person...thing. I have no idea what he is, but I knew he was one righteous dude. In the words of Xigbar, of course; I think that's where my slang came from.

I whistled breezily as I walked down the brick streets of Twilight Town, noticing one of those picturesque streetcars rolling past me. Eventually, as I disappeared into a nestled corner of the town, I noticed a curtain concealing something. Curious, I raised it to see three kids conversing. The brunette girl with braided hair sat comfortably on a sofa, flipping through the pages of some teen girl magazine. The two boys, one chubby and the other looking like he wanted to train for the army, were playing poker. These two were especially nervous when I randomly dropped by without a word.

"Mom, I'm not betting the deed to the house!" the chubby guy declared, his eyes shut.

I gave him a strange look while the blond guy cursed violently as he knocked over piles of chips.

He adjusted his green poker playing hat, his back toward me, and explained, "Look, Pence's mom, we're betting over...over...sea-salt ice cream. That's right. No illegal activity here."

The boy named Pence glared at his pal reproachfully. "What do you mean? I got grounded last week when you convinced me to help you hustle Seifer during a game of pool. You still owe me for that one, Hayner."

Stopping her skimming through her magazine after filling out a questionnaire, the girl looked up to see me. Her green eyes widened, but she didn't say anything. Then, she shrugged nonchalantly before alluding to her guy friends, "Relax, you two. Nobody's mom is here."

Pence cracked his dark eyes open, looking relieved that this was a false alarm. However, I almost laughed at the inadvertent pun that the girl said. Nobody's mom—ha! OK, that wasn't really that funny but—hey, Hayner prepared to beat the crap out of me.

I held up my hands defensively. "Waitwaitwaitwait! Before you proceed to beat the candy out of me, I come in peace! But, I've been sayin' that a lot lately."

Accurately guessing the severe extent of my random weirdness, Hayner assumed I was harmless. So, luckily, I was spared from getting beat to a bloody pulp. In the mean time, the brunette giggled upon witnessing this potential act of violence. I was almost offended until I heard her explanation.

"I can't believe my friends were dumb enough to think you were a mom."

K, that was pretty funny. I soon joined in her laughter, realizing that there was no way I could be anyone's mom. Why would I? I've never known a biological mother or father anyway.

The girl smiled and shook hands with me. "My name's Olette, and these two engaging in illegal activity are Hayner and Pence."

"Yeah, if you tell anyone about that, I _will_ beat the candy out of you," Hayner threatened, though looked more nervous than anything. I think the robe probably intimidated him. Pence just took out a camera, which he used to snap a photo of Hayner's clearly unnerved expression. Olette and I shook our heads, hardly believing that he did that to his own friend. Then again, it sounded like something I would do to Roxas. He's my pal, though, so he'd be cool with it.

Everyone except that blond guy laughed, but he gradually got the joke by shrugging and even chuckling a bit. Olette and I then started having an interesting conversation in a way to get to know each other. We told jokes that can only result from hanging out with guys every day. Basically, she was a cool person and didn't see all guys as potential boyfriends, unlike Selphie and Kairi. Yeah, I got along with her really well. And I did with her friends, too. Eventually, the topic switched over to that magazine she had been reading when I brought it up.

Leaning back against the sofa comfortably, she answered, "I was actually filling out a compatibility test. It matches you up with your type...though I usually don't believe in stuff like that."

She blushed nervously, as though it was a crime to do something that other logical girls like her wouldn't dream of doing. Apparently, her type was a guy who had an interest in the arts. I slyly looked over at obvious aspiring photographer Pence, whom I pointed out to Olette. I'm telling you, those two would make a cute couple. Curious about the mag quiz, I took it myself.

Reading the results, I stated, "'Your type of guy is someone who is intelligent and thoughtful. He's the type you can curl up with a book with and virtually be smart with.' Wow, this thing is accurate! My boyfriend is exactly like that."

"Wow, maybe there's hope for me yet," Olette remarked, staring at Pence a little. He looked kind of shy while Hayner commented, "Uh-oh, looks like things are gonna get disrupted."

Believe it, Hayner, but I was sure it would be OK. After promising them to come back here soon, I left.

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**A/N: ****All right, fun facts for all!**

**1) I don't mean any offense by the slang. It's techincally circa 1980's, so it's way out of date. For Xion to use it would be in-character of her, though weird.**

**2) One righteous dude--taken out of a quote from Ferris Bueller. WATCH IT!!! XD**

**3) "The fever" is in reference to this strange 80's song called "Pacman Fever." It can get annoying though, especially if it's stuck in your head like I'm experiencing now.**

**4) For some reason, I could just imagine Hayner and Pence engaging in hustling and gambling together. I don't know why.**

**And 5) Though I hate the cliche girly teen mag questionnaires, I thought that maybe this would be a great chance to show that I'm one of the few Penette supporters out there. WOOOOT, YAY FOR THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX, WOOOOT!**

**Next chappie on Saturday, in which Xion meets some Final Fantasy characters.**


	8. The Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee

**A/N: Kay, I don't really have much to say today for once. Oh yeah, well, there are going to be opinions on a few other characters within the actual opinion of the people mentioned in the chapter. Hope that's not too confusing, because I got confused just by typing all that. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all.**

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**Chapter 8: The Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee the Distrustful Group**

Well, a couple of them were paranoid around me. I can't really make a generalization here. Somewhat tired of the homey atmosphere that Twilight Town had to offer, I decided to leave early in the afternoon but not without eating sea-salt ice cream. I had to have my sugar high after all. Even with that positive rush, I worried that that moron DiZ stole the gummi ship, since I probably wasn't there to protect it. Oh, if Geoffrey got away, I would be in serious...well, something dirty and rotten. But, I luckily found him in one piece, in the same exact spot, too. For all his alleged smarts, you would have thought that DiZ would have escaped from this town while I lay unconscious. I guess he's that desperate for revenge. Shrugging since I could care less about his brand of crazy, I proceeded to drive away.

Kind of wanting to give that place another shot, I landed Geoffrey in Hollow Bastion. It wasn't like there was anything close to civilization beyond that and Twilight Town. Besides, I had to stop somewhere else to fill Geoffrey's gas tank. If Xemnas busted me when he discovered that tank empty, I'd be dead. Or maybe I would be sent to live with the Dusks. What do Dusks eat anyway? Souls? Oh well, that's irreverent. After filling the fuel tank, I decided to browse through the shops this barren looking town managed to have. I spent the most time at a bookshop, idly flipping through a fascinating book called _Alice in Wonderland_. And, man, that book was incredible! Since Zexion was far smarter than I, though, I bought him a pensive novel.

It was by some guy named Faust, and the plot just seemed like the kind he would enjoy. When I bought that, I realized I needed to get something for Namine, who _was _my best friend. So, I got her a book called _Little Women_. Believe me, she needs a heavy book for her long days stuck in her room. That, and it seemed sort of girly; she'd be into that. After my little shopping expedition, I lounged in a hotel room. Just to see if the management could fulfill my request, u asked for a stereo. They denied me, but then I offered them a thousand munny. It was an offer they couldn't refuse. Let's face it, we are loaded as an Organization. I don't know why, bit we members owe it to Xemnas, I guess. Switching on a ginormous stereo that management kindly gave me, I sang along to a certain song...loudly.

"'Heeeey, Macarena, hey!'" I shouted as I jumped on the bed.

Unfortunately, that sent management running after me, and they looked like they severely regretted letting me have my way. I smoothly agreed with them, explaining to them precisely that I was only curious to see what ridiculous wishes they could grant. I charmed them so well, they laughed along with me. Looking back now, I should be thankful that I possess this much charisma. Nobody can stop me if I wink at them. OK, I'm getting cocky, so I'll stop. The next morning, I fisted some of the management, ate some delicious blueberry waffles in the hotel restaurant, and resolved to look for people to talk to. As I proved to those people at the hotel the night before, I'm not safe when I'm alone. On the way over to the square, I met these three fairy girls.

At first, I thought they were magical and could grant me any wish, but when the sarcastic one told me flatly, "Yeah, like we would give you something like a pie from the sky," I knew they weren't fairies. The hyper chick of the group told me they hunted for treasure, and can I please lend them 500,000 munny? Yeah right, I didn't have that much on me. The head girl was reproachful toward her innocently cute yet greedy accomplice.

"Rikku, we're after stuff like mythril crystals and orchilalum. You know that."

Abruptly, the sarcastic chick said this was a waste of time before poofing away.

The leader apologized for her friend, saying that she often did that whenever she got sick of people in general. And I thought Saix was anti-social. Hating to leave them empty-handed, though they were indeed thieves, I offered them a bag of cheese popcorn. The head girl, rather sweet in temperament, politely declined, but the hyper chick looked absolutely thrilled. Without remotely considering munny, she snatched the bag, despite the problematic ratio of her size over the bag's size. She nearly fell down carrying it, and the sane leader helped her. They thanked me a million times before flying away. Shaking my head in disbelief, I carried on my stroll about town. I then spotted a bailey that overlooked the maw and the rotten appearing castle beyond it. I gazed out toward that lovely scenery before somebody interrupted me.

A muscular brunet guy who resembled some male celebrity I would drool over raced toward me while toting a Gunblade. According to the Organization files (yes, I've actually read them), there's only been one man who's yielded such a weapon. It was Leon Leonheart.

My mouth got dry with fear, knowing that he headed some committee that would probably kill me. I sighed, knowing I was virtually done for.

"I know, I know, I'm coming with you. I'll cooperate," I submitted, acting like I'd just been arrested. However, the guy didn't just escort me; he practically, roughly _carried _me to some other person's house. Geez...I'm not a wild animal. And when he tossed me on the table, everyone stared at me oddly.

Leon and an old blond dude looked like they were prepared to murder me, whereas there was one particular girl who disregarded the fact I was a "dangerous" criminal.

"I really like her hair," she commented, wearing a grin as big as the one I usually wore. "Short hair is so in-season right now. Then again, it's always that way to me."

The brunet stared with annoyance at her. "Be quiet, Yuffie. We actually have a real Organization member. She can kill us at any time."

I rolled my blue eyes in the mean time. "Oh, here we go again! Look, if I wanted to kill you guys that badly, I would have sniped you ages ago. But, I hate to murder. I don't do it."

The girls of the Committee (Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee, to be specific) looked at me with more trusting eyes than the men. The blond guy shrugged nonchalantly.

"I have no idea if a girl that age is capable of murder. Then again, she is a part of that Organization."

"Cid, maybe I should give her some soothing tea," a woman in pink suggested.

One of my eyes twitched. "I don't want any soothing tea!"

Backflip, backflip, and I got off the table Leon threw me on. "Look, guys, I don't go around killing people. We leave Saix up that. Vexen believes in lethal injection."

OK, I said all this to scare them—maybe not a smart plan, but I hated being kidnapped again. What happened to soul searching and peace and love?

` I was such a hippie to believe these ideals and even made a peace sign to them all to show that I would avoid hostile interaction. Again, the girls seemed to trust me, whereas Leon tapped his Gunblade menacingly against his hip. OK, scary (yet sexy) man, don't kill me. Seriously, I wouldn't like that will being put into action.

"How about tea?" the pink clothed girl asked again. "I make the best Earl Gray for miles around. I don't sense any evil in you."

"Sure, why not?" I beamed while everyone else looked like they would sweatdrop if they were in true anime forms. But, they weren't, so they didn't. After Aerith welcomed me with open arms, so did the rest of them except Leon.

That guy behaved in an antsy way, like he would dart toward the back of my head and knock me out in a second. After recently recovering from my last experience, I refused to take that risk. My headache had died down but was still there nonetheless.

Oh well, what are you gonna do? You can't stop insanely paranoid people bordering on being deranged. That's right, buy your copy of _Mad Hatters Gone Wild #18 _today for only 19.99 munny to add to your so far seventeen volume video collection! You can watch Leon, DiZ, and Marluxia, the guy who looks like he will do your hair free of charge! But, trust us experts, he's evil. Even the Mad Hatter himself (director and producer _and_ writer and make-up artist, etc.) makes a cameo appearance, but he dodges Saix's—!

Right, back to reality before I start making those compilations for real. Yuffie taught me some useful ninja moves after teatime, and Cid offered to give me gummi blocks. I declined, cheekily asking for gummy worms instead. For some reason, that set him laughing, and the two girls joined in. Leon still brooded in the shadows, looking all dark and stoic. I think I even saw a thundercloud hover over him. But, overall, I had a good time with those people, since it's my natural charm at work here. You cannot deny the cuteness of a fifteen-year-old girl—no way ever! To repay _most _of the Committee's kindness, I thanked them graciously for giving me a chance. As for Leon...honestly, once he escorted me out the door, I kicked him in the place where the sun don't shine.

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**A/N: ****Well, I got a bunch of fun facts today, so here we go!**

**1) I know that in the last installment, Xion didn't like Wonderland. But, that's because they could have made it way more fun in KH in my opinion. However, I feel like she would be into the book. I know I am. XD**

**2) I love the Macarena. I just do. For me, resistence is futile.**

**3) Somehow, I could picture Xion wearying out hotel management.**

**4) Faust was an author who wrote about the devil making a deal with somebody...I think. I came across it while reading one of the Vampire Chronicles books.**

**5) The soothing tea joke is actually the "calming tea" joke off Avatar: The Last Airbender in which Iro offers Zuko tea, but our favorite prince shouts, "I don't want any calming tea!" I always thought that joke was hilarious.**

**6) Now that I brought up these made-up Organization files, it makes me want to write a series about them. Not sure if you guys would be into that idea, though.**

**and 7) Well, the video compiltation rant is inspired off yet another movie called "Charlie Bartlett", which is kind of like "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" in a way. Anyway, there's this part when Charlie actually went and made a video compiltation of epic after-school fights. It's a pretty funny movie if you're into good teen flicks (and not ones with Zac Efron in them). As for the Mad Hatter being the make-up artist part, I think after the new "Alice in Wonderland", that could be pretty believable. XDD**

**Well, until I update, ciao!**


	9. Ansem the Vaguely Creepy One

**A/N: Yes, today the creep gets mentioned...among other characters. Not much to say again. My nose is stuffed, so I'm vaguely out of it. Yeah...anyway, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own where I get my references from or KH.**

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**Chapter 9: Ansem the Vaguely Creepy One**

Leon rubbed his sore (ahem) area while I rolled around on the ground, laughing my butt off. Do you think he was going to get a gracious "'Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto'" after how he treated me? No way, kiddies, I couldn't operate like that! By the way, he really does act like a robot, all emotionless and empty inside.

However, he acknowledged once he finished agonizing, "I deserved that, Xion. I did treat you like some sort of animal that gets caged. But, you _are _part of the Organization."

I nearly coughed from suppressed laughter as I informed him, "It's no harm done, Leon, my man. Most people I've met have reacted in the same exact way. Naturally, you would, too."

Like a deeply wise man, he pondered over my words carefully.

I'm guessing his thoughts were like this: this chick is weird, even for someone who is part of Organization XIII. Yet, she doesn't treat my friends like crap like I thought she would. Strange, but my stoic, stubborn mind realizes she won't harm any of us. She just wants to be loved. How's my hair look today?

OK, that part was a joke! I'm just such a prankster after all. Actually, though, his thoughts were something like I presumed minus the cynicism I put in there. He nodded, looking at me closely. I had Sora's eyes, so I couldn't be purely evil. With that in mind, we made up without hard feelings, and I departed for the Dark Depths. When I merely glanced at it the last time, it just looked like a place to bask in solitude.

As I made my way through the Crystal Fissure en route to my destination, a guy with one blackened angel wing suddenly landed in front of me. Startled, I gasped and nearly tumbled onto my bottom. Silver hair like Riku's cascaded down his back, with some of the strands obstructing his piercing blue eyes. Ugh, too many hot guys besides Zexion! But, at least Zexy is loyal and kind and—you all get this by now.

Bluntly, I told this stranger, "I don't care that you're probably evil, you're hot."

The handsome yet most likely vile man chuckled and cradled my chin in his hand. "I thank you for that compliment, my dear. I don't get that too often any more."

AHHHH, CURSE TEENAGE HORMONES!! I backed away as smartly as I could.

Just then, the dark angel pulled out a sword longer than both my arms together. He twirled it around slightly, scaring the crap out of me in the process.

"However, you remind me too much of someone I once fought," he commented, his deep monotone voice darkening. "And I actually lost to him..."

Oh, no. Sora, stop making enemies with people! Then again, this guy didn't appear too nice to begin with. If anything, it looked like he would slice me like he would a carrot. As I prepared for the worst, a blond guy who could have easily been Leon's brother from another mother clashed his weapon with the anti-angel's.

"Oh, thank you, guy who inspired Sora's hair!" I yelled rapturously, melodramatically.

But, I truly was grateful toward him for saving my life. I owed him that much, because this silvery haired dude had scared me half to death. I don't like having ridiculously sharp objects being pointed at me, OK?

"Sephiroth!" the newcomer shouted, blue eyes glaring. "How'd I know you'd be back?"

"I'm always back, Cloud," Sephiroth replied cryptically, enough for me to be amazed. I'd hate to be a fangirl, though, so I watched those two have an epic fight. While Cloud proceeded to pursue Sephiroth, I heard a girl scream, "Cloud!"

A dark haired girl bounded down from atop a cliff to chase after the two men.

Then, I remembered something Aerith mentioned earlier, so I in turn pursued all three of them. I needed to deliver an oral message.

"So you're Cloud?!? Aerith says good luck and hi! She says you can beat this Sephiroth dude! So, don't be surprised if she bakes cookies for you!"

So, I made up the "cookies" part, but it sounded good at the time. While the other girl who seemed to have feelings for Cloud as well followed the two, I left them all to think aloud.

"Something tells me people will be divided on who he ends up with," I mused as I headed toward the Dark Depths again. That's right, Cloud has the dark haired girl (Tifa, as I later found out) and Aerith to choose from. Oh, which should he pick?

And somewhere, Kairi is ditzily smiling and claiming, "I'm so like that guy!"

I sighed after those people were miles away and headed the rest of the way toward the Dark Depths, where I sat on a cliff. That ugly castle looked more close-up and sinister than ever before. Darkness shrouded around it, the towers seeming to taunt me with their gothic features. Ugh, it resembled a stark fortress rather than a warm, inviting castle. Just as I got way too caught up in its frightening appearance, a shadow crawled across the ground before rising into a person.

"Yes!" he declared braggingly as though he was back into plotting evil schemes. "I am Ansem, and I have risen!"

Surprise must have written itself all over my face before I rolled my eyes. OK, so a dude just randomly returned to life, with me as the only witness. Big deal. So what? It's not like he resurrected in front of the entire popu—holy crap, did he say his name was Ansem?!?

Oh boy, isn't that name famous throughout the Organization? Xemnas told us one time that that guy inspired him. Anyone who did _that_ to our Superior is a certified freak.

I tapped my fingers against my leg anxiously. "OK, buddy, you're actually alive?!?"

Ansem stared condescendingly at me. "Of course. Why else would I say that I have risen?"

Mm-hmm, I'm no longer taking him seriously, I assumed as I got up and paced around. He wore a strange outfit that showed off his chest. Ha, time to mock him!

"All right, Mr. I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt, you have serious ego problems."

It was true! He probably thought that he was rather hot stuff.

And his tanning job was way too overdone. Any more tanning, and he would have looked like a lobster. To think, Xemnas admired this undeniable freak of nature. Then, I remembered what that leader said, speaking of which, about how this Ansem dude basically possessed Riku. And guess what? I don't get along with people who used to control my friends both physically and mentally. That is the very definition of sadism. Ansem had no idea how much I felt like despising him right now. Instead, he flicked back strands of his white hair cockily. Oh, what? Did his hair get bleached by the sun?

Proudly, he told me, "I may have died, but I can always resurrect myself no matter what."

"Sure..." I stared at him dubiously. "Look, dude, stay out of the tanning bed. Actually, just stay out of the sun in general."

Vanity seemed to suddenly pop like a bubble when Ansem looked affronted. How dare I dis his looks! Then again, I think I had every right to since he looked so horrific and was so bragging. It was time to take his ego down a few notches.

Extremely offended at this point, he yelled angrily, "My tan is completely, one hundred percent natural! I have no idea what you mean by this so-called tanning bed."

I scoffed at him as I placed my hands on my hips. "Pfft, don't play dumb, Mr. Possessor of Teenagers. Seriously, how sick-minded can you get?"

He rolled his eyes, neglecting the fact that I sneaked behind him to hit him upside the head with my Keyblade. Suddenly, darkness surrounded me before swallowing me whole.

Dang, what a comeback for that overly tanned, excessively pompous dude to make! I could barely see anything, and it was as though someone turned all the lights off at the same exact time. It was a rather frightening ordeal to go through. Even worse, something went through me, right into my soul. This demonic spirit settled itself there, threatening to devour me from the inside out. Ugh, so this was what it was like to be possessed! Well, for every possession, there must always be an exorcism. That's not just a basic law of dark magic—it's a survival _rule_. So, for some reason, I stuck my hands through my chest, actually able to pull Ansem out.

As crazy and unbelievable as this sounded, I just did it. That creep was going to get out of my body, and he was going to pay the consequences if he didn't. A streak of vile green came out, giving me the perfect opportunity to impale it. Loud screeching nearly hurt my ears while Ansem's voice echoed, "I will rise again!"

"Yeah right, buddy, unless you haunt my friend's dreams. Which, by the way, is really twisted of you—remember, stay out of the sun!" I reminded him, the screaming dying down as the streak vanished from view. Then, there was this welcoming light around me. Good, creep, just get away from me. Go back to your tanning bed, and by the way, don't rise again. Unless you want me to unleash my inner vampire slayer, I wouldn't advise messing with me. Is that clear? Awesome.

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**A/N: ****Who wants some trivia?!? OK, here goes.**

**1) "Domo arigato" reference is from the Styx song. Then again, that's basically a no-brainer.**

**2) "My man".... Hm, I've been watching too much Naruto: Shippuden, since Deidara says those two words to Sasori A LOT!!! XD**

**3) I always thought that Sora's hairstyle copied Cloud's...in a way.**

**4) As for the "people being divided on who he (Cloud) ends up with" part, it's a bit of satirism Nomura-san's appreciation for love triangles (AerithxCloudxTifa and SoraxKairixRiku).**

**5) The "I have risen" quote from Ansem is actually from the "King Tuck" episode of Danny Phantom, a show I had hated before it eventually got to me. I really liked it by the time it ended. Sad how this usually happens to me with TV shows. DX**

**and 6) Come on, doesn't Ansem look like he uses the tanning bed too much?**

**I hope to update daily now, since I have all my chapters finished and typed-up. Can't really guarentee anything, though, due to schoolwork. But, I hope I can fulfill this.**


	10. The Riku Replica The Kid Who Gives Out

**A/N: ****Bit of sarcasm in the chapter title, as you will later find out. Allergies are getting better, but I'm still a wee bit sniffly. Ah, can't wait til Friday, when we have Foreign Language Food Day for two of the foreign language classes. It's gonna be great! XD Yeah, I can't stop talking about food. Where was I? Oh yeah, I'll probably update every other day. The story is close to being done anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 10: The Riku Replica the Kid Who Gives Out Free Fudge**

I'll explain this later. Immensely disturbed that I had been _thisclose _to being possessed, I dizzily walked back toward the town. Hopefully, Ansem was gone...well, for now anyway. He could just get in a tanning bed and forget about all this. Plus, he had maybe a whole array of magician clothes to choose from. Ugh, overly tanned guys can be so weird! I'm staying away from Xemnas more often now, since he actually considers Ansem an influence. It's like saying that Saix or Xaldin is the music in me that inspires me on a daily basis. I mean, what would Axel and Roxas think? They would avoid me like the plague too, if they knew what was good for them. Because, in a matter of time, I would go insane from such influence. Now, thinking about that in a hypothetical way, Xemnas must be as crazy as that dude.

Then again, the Superior has always been the type to seem as though he keeps some hidden crazy in his mind like a stash of dynamite. Just light the fuse one of these times, and boom! He shall explode, wreaking endless destruction everywhere. Maybe he'll blow up the whole place with dynamite. And that's not a metaphor; that's a genuine prediction. We might never be the same after that. In the mean time, I wandered aimlessly throughout the town again in the search of something constructive to do. Still, colors were blending in all over the place, and I thought I saw an eagerly jumping rabbit. By the way, I might add that this is what happens after post-traumatic possession of the body.

You can get so crazy and figure that the most random things exist. It's sort of like getting a concussion but ten times worse. I laughed nervously upon realizing how sore my body would probably become after this trip. And the rabbit was motioning over to me.

"Hey, bunny!" I greeted while giggling even harder. "What's up? Can I get a word to your mother? WOOOOOOT!!!"

Yeah, I don't know what I was saying either. These were probably the after effects of Ansem intruding my body, even my soul. Anyway, I chased after the imaginary bunny and ignored all the strange glances from passersby. I was determined to get to know him, because he had a wicked fashion sense. He had a sky blue vest, a tie-dye T-shirt, a pair of dilapidated colored pants (like a scarecrow), and red high-top sneakers. I wanted to chat.

At one point, I got so insane to the point that I could barely discern fiction from reality. With that said, I hopped like the rabbit to catch up with him. Should his name be Vinny? Gosh, my thoughts were too maddening.

"Hey!" I called after him (regretfully, at the top of my lungs). "Are you my spirit animal? If you are, this is the best vision quest of my life!"

And then, imaginary bunny spoke. "Wanna listen to my music, Xion?"

"Yes, Vinny, yes!"

He got out a stereo, which blared loud music that had gibberish for lyrics. I pretended to be in a mosh pit while singing along to the nonsense words.

I passed out, though, once I got too into the song that played from the stereo Vinny held in his brown paws. They were so cute. I wondered why he hit me before I passed out. Don't worry, dear readers, I wasn't seeing black for too long.

It was because I smelled fudge.

Instinctively, my nostrils sniffed the air, catching the whiff of good, old-fashioned fudge....chocolate, to be exact. And it was without nuts, which intrigued me even further. I prefer not to take nuts with my fudge. If it's not straight-up chocolate, I'm not buying. Forgetting the rabbit from my too vivid imagination, I got up right away.

Inwardly taking my cues from Zexion (even though my sense of smell isn't as strong as his), I followed the scent to its source. A kid who resembled Riku only with a hula skirt on furtively sneaked about town, toting a paper bag over his shoulder. Most other people would have rashly assumed that this was the real Riku. Nuh-uh, they were sadly mistaken there. This was the Riku Replica, the invention of one certain Vexen the Mad Scientist, address Ivory Castle of Sadists, World That Never Was. Kind of creepy, once you think about it, for Number Four to make a real boy—I don't believe he's Geppetto either. In fact, I _know _he's no Geppetto. He didn't do this out of loneliness; he did out of pure freaking insanity. Vexen has plans for that Replica, but he's kept them a secret from everyone else.

We had no idea how the Riku Replica came to be, but he just randomly walked out the laboratory door one day. Demyx saw him first, though was sadly beaten up by the guy. Don't worry, he redeemed himself. Still, this fake Riku wasn't all that nice, and I had looked down upon him furiously. I fumed whenever he looked at me. Quite frankly, he lacked the charm and charisma of the original. So, what the heck was he doing in Hollow Bastion? Oh, no...did he—?

"You little bugger!" I shouted exasperatedly at him, shaking my fist while I walked briskly over to him. Vexen's pathetic lapdog was not going to get away with this. "Did you happen to stow away on Geoffrey? Did you?!?"

Shocked that one of the members of the organization that kept him on a leash had shown up, he almost dropped his bag of fudge.

I wore a demented smirk on my face, pleased that I just might have the opportunity to squeal on him. What would Vexen think? Oh, it was time for revenge against someone who deserved it. His teal eyes widened, the Replica got out his weapon.

"So what if I did?" he asked testily with a hint of worry.

I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him toward an alley where we could "chat." OK, I meant to beat the crap out of him, but he wouldn't quite let me. With his bat wing weapon, he immediately knocked my recently summoned Keyblade onto the ground. I gave him the death glare.

"You know, stowing away is not cool with me. I can't have Vexen's eyes and ears spying on me now, could I? I don't think so, and"—gosh, that fudge smelled delectable—"Give me that fudge!"

This seemed to startle the Riku Replica even worse than when he found out that I was in the same place as he was. Sneakily, he hid the bag behind his back, though I caught that slight movement.

"No way!"

"Aw, sweetie, won't you be so kind as to give your Aunt Xion the fudge? For free?"

"No!"

"Why?" I inquired, thoroughly perplexed that I couldn't get my chocolate fix. I hadn't had a bit of it today, and I needed it so desperately. But, I guess stowaways make bad givers.

Defensively, he admitted in a tone of annoyance, "I stole it from this lady, OK?"

Awww, now I couldn't eat the fudge. I couldn't go on a binge if the chocolate was stolen. Ugh, curse my kindness! Peeved, I tapped my foot impatiently.

"Replica, you're going to return that fudge to the lady you stole it from right now."

"But—" he attempted to protest.

"No buts! You are taking that fudge back. Now, go!"

When the Riku Replica refused to move from his spot, I did a mom thing by dragging him by the ear toward the owner. On our route, I ordered him to describe the lady. Apparently, she wore ninja clothes, high boots that were up to the knee, and had black hair. This matched the description of Yuffie perfectly. How ironic that I had just come from there.

Glaring at him dangerously, I pointed to the door of the house to order him to knock on it. After he did that, the ninja girl opened the door and soon wore an excited expression.

Happily, she chirped, "My fudge! Oh, thank you, Xion. So, this was the guy who stole it, eh? Hmph...last time I ever leave fudge on the window sill."

I stared at Yuffie incredulously. "You left fudge on the window sill?"

"Yeah." She shifted from one foot to the other. "I always do that after I make it."

I merely shook my head out of complete disbelief. Really, I can't explain what goes on in that girl's mind. In the mean time, I pushed Riku Replica over toward her, front and center.

"Now apologize for your greedy deeds and lack of self-control when it comes to chocolate. And if you don't say sorry, Vexen will use you as his test subject for his spontaneous combustion experiment," I told him.

He paled twenty shades. "OK, OK, I'm sorry, Yuffie!"

She shrugged as though being stolen from didn't matter. "That's all right, dude who looks oddly like Riku. But, I won't ask about that. Now, how about some fudge, Xion? You did help me out, after all."

Forgetting my brief role as disciplinary adult, I brightened. "Of course, friend."

So, as I walked back over toward the gummi ship, I gloatingly popped each of my six pieces of fudge into my mouth. Riku Replica followed after, and he looked highly displeased.

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**A/N: ****Right, how about some fun facts for ya?**

**1) Yeah, the bunny thing. Well, apparently, there was this show called "Ally McBeal" about this lawyer lady. And the Dancing Baby is like her imaginary friend but really her biological clock...or something like that. This bunny basically represents Xion's insanity...and the horrible after effects of being possessed. XP**

**2) Got the fudge idea on V-Day when I received fudge from my mom. Yeah, can't believe how random THAT turned out. **

**3) I always saw Repliku as the annoying little brother (in comedic terms) to the Organization. **

**and 4) I also always thought that Vexen was a bit of a perv for making the Replica.**

**Right, on Friday, I will start the Disney worlds traveling part in the story. There's to be four chapters of that, since there are quite a few worlds I hate (i.e. Space Paranoids--HATED that world SO MUCH!). And, hopefully, these chapters have the most popular worlds among a lot of people. If you don't like them, I apologize. Maybe Xion's humor will spice it up for you.**


	11. Being a Guest in Beast's Castle Sort of

**A/N: Sorry about not updating yesterday, guys. I was so caught up in typing up this random one-shot that I kinda lost track of time. So, sorry about that. But, today is the first of four Disney worlds I had Xion mention. I based this on likeability of the movie itself as well as possible popularity. I just hope you all like this. After all, a certain Org. XIII member makes a cameo appearence. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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**Chapter 11: Being a Guest in Beast's Castle (Sort of)**

I confronted the Riku Replica before stepping inside Geoffrey concerning his stowing away. I made sure to tell him that since I hated that once, I would hate it again. So, I offered him this deal as an ultimatum.

"I got my fudge, so I offer you this. I'll pay you 2,000 munny to stay the heck away from me. You should be able to teleport home. Just _don't get on the ship_. Got it?"

Intrigued by my generous offer, Riku Replica nodded. "All right, I'll take it."

Grinning out of victory, I skipped inside Geoffrey before slapping my hand against the shiny red button that closed the door. There was no way Vexenstein's Monster could sneak in. However, I just hoped he wouldn't run into any angry mobs....for his sake, of course.

The next place I decided to travel to was one that had inevitably captured my fancy in the past. It was an elegant building called Beast's Castle, which lay a few miles away from a sleepy little French village. Well, it was a good thing I watched cooking shows along with teaching myself to speak French. Unfortunately, I had yet to speak the language fluently, but I wished that what little I did know would be enough. Hopping off the ship once there, I took a look around, really appreciating the rather dour sights of this area. Though some people would be instantly appalled by such horrific terror of the appearance, I found that I was partial to it. After all, the darkness isn't all that bad.

While cautiously entering the castle, I wondered if Xaldin was here. Numba Three made it a habit every day to come here. My theory regarding that is he's a huge pervert for the girl who lives here. Technically, she's barely legal, and he's almost thirty! It's kind of gross. Then again, I hoped he didn't get too...well, extreme. Just as I stepped inside, I heard an ear splitting roar that almost shook me.

Wow, that guy was fast!

Then, I silently perused the will I had drawn up within my mind. OK, Axel got the TV for sure. Roxas got the books, since he was the only guy besides Zexion who ever read. Speaking of my lover, he could have the locket he gave me to remind him of me. Sad, but it might be very true. What about Nami? Well, there were colored pencils I had...

Before I could say any last words, the Beast had me pinned to a wall. Goodbye, friends! I had had many close shaves on this trip, but I would be lucky to even survive this one. However, karma was on my side once again.

I gently lay my hands on his paws (how could I be so bold?) and assured, "Look, man, I just came here to look. I don't expect you to let me out alive...so, could you...um...? Crap, I never thought I couldn't be able to state a last request!"

The Beast looked confused, though reluctantly let me go.

"Just stay out of my sight," he growled in a warning tone before departing.

Yeesh, that guy was nice! Then again, if I was cursed like him, I wouldn't be very cheery either.

As I gave myself my own personal tour of this enticing castle, I walked down a corridor, thinking about food. Wasn't France supposed to be the land of cheese or something like that? Mmm...cheese...oh, baby... Personally, I liked cheddar. Can't go wrong with the classics. I despise blue, though. Nasty stuff—in fact, Roxas rudely stuffed my socks with it once. I still shudder over the memory. Caught up in my cheesy thoughts (hahahaha!), I barely noticed a candelabrum heading my way. He had a face. OK, another cursed person—we can't get enough of those around here.

Crossing my fingers in the hopes that this one was friendly, I asked, "What's up, candle?"

Luckily, he took no offense to the awkward greeting and smiled warmly (ha, ha, warm fire, get it?—hahaha)...for a candle, that is. Honestly, I had no idea that inanimate objects could be human-like until today.

"_Bonjour, mademoiselle_," he greeted back in great spirits. "My name is Lumiere. Yours?"

Wow, very polite; I approved. "I'm Xion. It's awesome to meet you, Lumiere. At least you've shown some...hospitality toward me."

Lumiere appeared sympathetic with me. "Ah, so you have met the master. Ever since the day he was cursed, I'm afraid he has been less than trusting around others."

I nodded. "I can see that. Hey, I heard this one girl lives here. Mind if I meet her?"

Of course, since Lumiere was a rather charismatic sort of candelabrum, he didn't mind at all. Along the way toward the East Wing, we did engage in a conversation about cheese ("Ah, the taste of Brie! How I miss it so," the candle lamented) that lasted for five minutes. Cheese is very interesting, don't you know? Wink, wink! OK, I have no idea what that was about. Anyway, when we reached our destination, I decided I needed to speak to Belle (the girl who Lumiere helped me with identifying) in French. I had just been lucky so far that the Beast and the candle spoke English. Otherwise, I would be at a loss. When I walked in her room after knocking, I greeted the brunette Belle by saying, "_Bonjour, Mademoiselle Belle. Je m'appelle Xion. Je suis venue_—"

But, Belle went and laughed at me. "I speak English well enough, Xion."

Eh...? But, they're French. Argh! As Zexion would say, this was "entirely illogical by default." All right, you know what? I would go with this whole twisted concept of the citizens of France conversing fluently in perfect English. Besides, my vocabulary in their allegedly native language wasn't all that extensive. Lumiere then proceeded to explain the reason I was here.

"She is just a guest curious about the palace. And we can never have enough guests here." He grinned invitingly, as though a party would thrill him at the moment. "No, indeed we have a severe lack of them."

Wow, go candle! I took the conversation from there, interested in getting to know Belle, who apparently loved books as much as I did. Though, since it was a different time period here...

Shocked, I shouted, "You've never heard of _Harry Potter_?!? Ever?!? Girl, you're missing out. There's Sirius freaking Black in that series. That dude pwns big time!"

She shook my head while smiling to express her amusement at my odd slang. Oh, three hundred years or so makes all the difference in the world.

"Actually," she informed me, "there's this excellent published play called _Macbeth _by William Shakespeare."

I grinned craftily, remembering my curse on Saix. "Heh-heh, _Macbeth_..."

Just as I finished cackling, my new friend inquired cautiously, "Do you perhaps know this man who has been coming to the castle lately? Beast told me the other day he wore a black robe."

Oh, boy... Xaldin, control your gross urges, buddy! How did I know he would manage to sneak in here today under the Beast's nose? Well, he bragged earlier in the week about his next mission...

After receiving an affirmative answer from Belle if she had heard a noise earlier (detectives are always able to ask stuff like that, so why shouldn't I?), I proceeded to lead everybody over toward the West Wing. It was a lucky guess, because I opened a random door to discover Xaldin. He flipped through the pages of a book and composedly sipped tea. Once he spotted Belle, he smiled cockily before casting his gaze on a pink rose under a glass cover. What the heck was he thinking?

"Hello, Xaldy," I said testily, glaring my disapproval. "Having a good time?"

He narrowed his own eyes at me. "Yes, I happen to be enjoying myself, Xion. I don't bloody know how you came to be here, though you were talking nonsense about a road trip earlier in the week."

"Gummi ship trip! Get it right, Mr. Whiskers!"

Lumiere chuckled at my nickname for the guy with the disorganized dreadlocks and just as haphazard facial hair. Bowing before the candle, I theatrically thanked him. In the mean time, Belle rubbed the bridge of her nose exasperatedly.

"I don't understand how you keep coming here almost constantly. And today, you come here without Beast knowing. Obviously, you have been up to something."

Xaldin set his teacup on its saucer while marking a place in his novel that he had rapturously read to himself. He strutted over to the girl and flicked back his dreads.

"My dear," he told her, trying to be charming. "You are the reason why I—"

"OK, that's it, mister!" I declared, rushing over to the window to abruptly open it. Then, with Belle's assistance, we just barely managed to push Xaldin out the window. That guy can stand to lose a few accursed pounds.

He roared, "AHHHHH, when you come home, Xion, you will be in for—OWWW!!!"

I leaned out over the sill and shouted toward him, "That's what you get for hitting on girls almost half your age, you creepy facial haired, sadistic pervert!"

Slamming down the window, I dusted my gloves off. Belle looked relieved and happy that I had come through for them to save the day. Lumiere looked like he just wanted to laugh.

"Well, that's done," I proclaimed. "He shouldn't be back here for a while."

Sure, sure, everything was now all good and dandy. But, then, I heard plodding footsteps...

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**A/N: ****OK, I got all of y'all a bagful of fun facts today. XD**

**1) Obvious Frankenstein reference here. Then again, it's not hard to picture Vexen as a mad scientist.**

**2) "Numba" is in reference to Codename: Kids Next Door, a show I used to be virtually obsessed with in my younger days.**

**3) I keep bringing up Xion's intangible "will", because she keeps thinking somebody is going to kill her one of these times in this story. XD**

**4) I really do think blue cheese is nasty. Whatever you do, DON'T TRY IT!!!**

**5) To translate Xion's sentence, it is: "Hi, Miss Belle. My name is Xion. I have come--" I'm in French class, so I kinda like to show off. XP**

**6) In true KH: Short and Honest Version fashion, I decided to satirize on why the characters off Beauty and the Beast speak English so well. Then again, you couldn't really understand a Disney movie in French unless you live in a French speaking country.**

**7) Xaldin's nickname is absolutely NOT referring to "Brandy and Mr. Whiskers", a horrible (but luckily cancelled) show that sucked so bad it makes "Fanboy and Chum-Chum" look like a work of pure genius. Yep, that bad.**

**8) Yep, I brought up Macbeth again. Aren't I awesome?**

**9) I swear to God that in KH2, Xaldin is lightly hitting on Belle. It's nasty.**

**and 10) The chapter title is in reference to the song "Be Our Guest", one of my fave songs off Beauty and the Beast.**

**Well, to make up for not updating two days in a row, I shall update tomorrow. You'll love the next movie I shall reference.**


	12. Candy Drought at Halloween Town

**A/N: All right, I'm glad for all the hits yesterday. XD But, anyway, here is the chapter I've been looking forward to post: the Nightmare before Christmas chapter, yay! So, expect a lot of movie references, since I've seen the movie a kajillion times.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the movie or the game.**

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**Chapter 12: Candy Drought at Halloween Town**

Yes, the Beast had shown up, and I swore to Kingdom Hearts that I was a goner. But, since he had suddenly realized that Xaldin had been here, he got all concerned over Belle. Awww, a tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. I'm a sap for romance. Anyway, I pointed out the window to show him the damage I bestowed upon my colleague.

"I don't know this crazy man," I lied cleverly (because who wants to say they know Xaldy?). "But, I think I broke his leg. Just as well—he's too hideous to come on to other girls."

Beast nodded as though to say, "Darn right," and grudgingly thanked me. Wow, I just saved his girlfriend and—well, this was to be expected. After getting to know the other cursed servants who had arrived too (briefly, though), I said goodbye to everybody.

Belle requested politely that if I came here again, could I please give her new books to read if it wasn't too much trouble? I said yes and grinned. I saluted to Lumiere, Mrs. Potts, Cogsworth, Chip, and Beast before I set off. The clock dude (Cogsworth) stared at me like I was insane. OK, he was kind of OCD. That's all good. The next world I flew to was Halloween Town, which looked pretty sweet. Halloween's my favorite holiday ever, because of the costumes and, more so, the candy. I dressed up as a _real _vampire last month, not a sparkly one. Honestly, sparkly vampires...what is the world coming to? Once I landed, I discovered that my robe suddenly transformed into a Halloween costume.

This costume was a purple witch's gown with a matching hat and purple and black striped stockings. A black cape with gray wispy cobwebs was tied about my neck. I also had on a pair of square looking buckled shoes. And, when I peered over at a hand mirror I randomly took out, I had a cool make-up job. Black eye-shadow and red lipstick was painted on my face. Normally, I would object to something like this, but hey, it was a killer makeover. I highly approved of this witchy look. Maybe I could really be in-character and cook up a brew. Or maybe I could find something here to startle the members I despise. Stepping off Geoffrey, I loved the gothic town with the cheap little frights and especially the slime fountain. Oh, that was great! Forget Destiny Islands, I wish I could live in this place. The neighbors might be more to my liking if I did move to here.

I admired the lovely yet gloomy sights of the town, jumping back when the gate opened and abruptly closed shut on its own. This was my kind of place. While distracting myself with the impressive-ness of it all, I overheard a conversation. Curious, I sneaked over toward the direction from where I heard the talking. Two odd characters conversed: one a stout guy with a panicked face and the other an overwhelmingly tall, skinny guy. Most normal people would have considered those two an eerie (even scary) pair. I thought they were fascinating, especially the tall one.

"Jack, we have a crisis here!" the stressed-out dude informed. "We have officially run out of candy, and you, as the Pumpkin King, must get more before next year!"

Whoa, this dude was already freaking about something that was a year away. And I thought I had problems.

The tall one who was Jack seemed to be far more optimistic regarding this senseless candy drought. I mean, in a place called Halloween Town, you would think there would be candy 24/7. There must be way too many kids here. Either that, or somebody stole all that candy.... Hmm...

Ready for anything (or so he appeared to be), Jack promised, "I will make sure to get as much candy as possible, Mr. Mayor! You can count on me."

Suddenly, the mayor's face turned thrilled. "I always can, Jack. After all, I am an elected official and can't do everything by myself."

Jack nodded and walked away on spindly, springy legs. He looked very positive.

I thought why not? Maybe I could help him with his dilemma, since I was here and bored with absolutely nothing better to do.

"Hi," I said casually, walking up to Jack just as the mayor toddled away. "My name is Xion, and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."

Couldn't help it was a far better excuse than eavesdropping. I adjusted my hat as I waited for the skeleton's answer. He simply looked awed by my costume.

"Great costume!" he raved, playing with my cape then poking my hat. "You make a better witch than the rest of them around here. And Sally would love the design."

"Um...thanks," I replied, freaked out yet flattered at the same time. "But, a candy drought sounds pretty serious."

Jack finally looked like he recently understood what I said in my introduction, judging by the pondering expression on his face. Then, he snapped his fingers after a few minutes.

"Ah, yes, I know what we're gonna do. I think we should talk to Sally, get her view on things."

I was guessing that Sally was his girlfriend. Once we got to a towering building that overlooked the whole town, I had the privilege of meeting her. And, believe me, I could hardly suppress my delight and fawning.

"Awww," I cooed once glimpsing the patchwork girl. "She's so cute! No wonder you two are dating. You'd make a cute couple if not already."

Sally smiled shyly upon being bestowed with such praise. "Thanks...What's your name?"

I told her my name, and all three of us jumped into an animated conversation...until the evil scientist showed up. He was pushed in his wheelchair by some blonde lady.

My mouth dropped open. "Dude, what is up with these chicks running to their sugar daddies?!? There has to at least be a forty year age dif—"

"I know, I'm old, so shut your trap!" the scientist snapped irritably at me. "Now, Jack, what do you want? And make it snappy, before your new friend annoys me even more."

"Hey, hey, cool it, old timer! There's a guy I know who's exactly like you and—"

Jack implored of the two of us, "Let's not fight! We got a candy situation here."

His impossibly long arms separated us, and I sighed moodily though relented. I guess I wanted to help the guy, and quarreling with cantankerous old Dr. Finklestein (so I later found out) would do no good. So, I listened to Jack briefing the scientist on the situation.

"_Obviously_," Finklestein remarked arrogantly, glaring pointedly at Jack, "this has something to do with Shock, Lock, and Barrel. Those meddling kids can never leave well enough alone."

"I knew it!" the Pumpkin King exclaimed confidently.

"No you didn't, idiot, or you wouldn't have asked me."

"Time for your soup," Sally abruptly cut in, holding a bowl of some icky substance she had just cooled.

Her inventor (it wasn't that hard to figure out) rolled his eyes. "You think I'd fall for that again?"

I wanted to tell the old man to eat his soup but said instead, "Well, let's get after those kids!"

Leaving the bitter Finklestein and sweet Sally behind, Jack led the way while I trailed behind. Who knew solving the candy problem would lead to such a wild goose chase? Yes, we found those little pests all right, but we had to chase after them rather quickly. Then again, they dragged an incriminatingly large bag of something around, so it kind of slowed them down. Then, the girl (I think it was Shock) suddenly stopped to admire and envy my witch get-up, which did look way sweeter than hers.

"Where'd you get that cape?" she inquired in a displeased tone. "I wish I had one like that! I don't even have one!"

"Too bad for you then, kiddie," I frankly told her, instinctively grabbing Lock by the ears.

Him being the leader of the mischievous trio, he had been toting the bag, which he inevitably dropped. He struggled while I smirked. That literal devil had been caught in a trap. Barrel attempted to beat me up...though only hit my legs, more so around the kneecaps. Kneeling down to his eye level, I smiled a sugary smile.

"Well, aren't you adorable?" I mockingly complimented. "If all three of you weren't little thieves, I would think you're all equally cute. But, since you do steal, your cuteness level goes down considerably."

Wow, never thought in my fifteen years of living I would ever sound like Larxene. She's probably worse with children than I am, though, so I don't have to worry.

While I created the perfect diversion, Jack picked up the sack with candy and started dragging it away. Then, he stalled, a bit confused.

"Isn't this what's left of Oogie Boogie?" he asked randomly, pointing to the gray bag.

The kids all had shifty eyes. "No..."

I wrinkled my nose disdainfully upon them all. "You used a dead body to carry candy? Sick! Oh well, at least that guy's not influencing you."

Little did I know that this Oogie Boogie had a strong power over those children. I was informed later, of course. But hey, at least Jack and I fixed the candy problem.

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**A/N: ****OK, a chock full of fun facts.**

**1) Used the famous Beauty and the Beast quote at the very beginning. Cheesy, I know. XP**

**2) Sparkly vampires...Couldn't resist, I hate Twilight. Let the hate mail come in! XD**

**3) The "I'm an elected official, I can't do anything by myself" bit was always one of my favorite lines in the movie. Because, as you notice, this pretty much applies to ANY politician these days. Yay for political satire!**

**4) The blonde lady who's Dr. Finklestein's companion was the one who showed up toward the very end of the movie.**

**5) The "soup" reference is when Sally put her master to sleep in the movie.**

**6) Xion's obviously comparing the charming doctor to Vexen. XD**

**and 7) Yes, the sack is of a dead Oogie Boogie, as killed off in KH1. I have a very disturbed mind, I know. XD**

**Reviews would be accepted and appreciated if all you guys don't mind putting in a few words. After all, for many of us, this was a movie we grew up watching as children, and it would be so kind if you... I know, I'm using emotional appeal here. But hey, I never resort to groveling for reviews. Ever.**

**Next chapter should delight you all as well. Just sayin'. It's from a popular franchise.**


	13. Port Royal Insanity

**A/N: Ta-da, I have a bit of PoTC for y'all! Well, admittedly, I haven't watched too much of the movies, because they're three hours long, and I'm busy with school stuff. That said, I've never really sat and watched one all the way through. I know: my life is empty. DX But, what little I have seen, I've liked. Since KH2 based this off the first movie, so have I. Enjoy. Oh, and did you ever catch the Final Fantasy XIII trailer? Pretty sweet, but there's no way in heck I'm buying a crappy PS3 just to play that game. No can do.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 13: Port Royal Insanity**

Well, once I tell you this story, you'll know why this world is insane. Or at least why the events of the world were insane—I'll explain pretty soon. Anyway, Jack and I wandered back over toward Dr. Finklestein's tower to talk to Sally. She looked relieved to know that the candy was now in good hands...though I did sneak in a little bit. I can't help myself! I love chocolate too much.

"So, can I keep the costume?" I asked, seriously getting attached to the witch outfit at this point.

Jack shrugged. "Sure, I don't know where it came from."

"Good luck on the rest of your trip, Xion," Sally kindly said as a send-off.

"Thanks, and you two keep being the perfect couple now." I grinned, flashing a wink at them.

The Pumpkin King beamed as he lazily draped an arm over Sally's shoulders. "That shouldn't be a problem."

I held my thumbs up before climbing aboard Geoffrey. What a trip so far! I swore that I searched my soul inside and out. OK, I realized that acquiring more patience would be nice. And I shouldn't be attracted to dangerous men, when I have a cute smart guy. But, I really need more patience. Just as I steered out of Halloween Town, though, my costume disappeared, and my robe came back.

"Noooooo!" I groaned, palming myself. "I loved that costume so much. Whyyyyy?"

In anguish over the unwelcome wardrobe change, I drove over to Port Royal, my mouth in a constant pout. I don't care about awesome pirates; I miss my outfit. Hmph! I was so ticked that I almost landed at the bottom of the ocean due to my own distraction.

Hm, third note to self this trip: don't ever get angry enough to the point of nearly crashing in the water and hitting some sharks. The last thing I want is to get eaten by Jaws. So, I landed safely...in the middle of town, freaking out people in the process. Yeah, 1700's, meet the future. Future, meet the 1700's. Are you guys acquainted yet? Good. After pressing the magic button, I calmly disembarked Geoffrey, none the worse for wear.

"Nothing to see here, people!" I called out to them, putting my hood up for once. Like that would work, but hey, I took a shot. "I'm just one of those hilarious teenagers. My parents try to keep me in line, but it just doesn't work."

At that point, though, the crowd stopped listening. I knew they would, though; crowds tend to be on the rude side. At least, that's been my previous experience with them.

Nothing about the town impressed me much, and eventually, the people retreated to their homes, most likely for a comfortable sleep. Left to my own devices, I wandered on the outskirts in search for a harbor. It didn't take me long, and lo and behold, I saw a ship that had just sailed into the harbor. Curious, I decided to stow away, which was probably the most hypocritical thing I could do. After all, I had scolded Riku Replica for sneaking aboard my gummi ship. I guess that's what happens when you want to accomplish the dream of being a pirate. Without anyone seeing me, I went belowdecks and hid out among the barrels of rum, which smelled disgusting to me. I hate alcohol! I practically choked on the smell throughout the whole area. Sickened by the scent of a pirate's best friend (besides gold), I was inevitably discovered.

"What are you doing near my rum, mate?" a breezy, light British accent asked of me, startling me out of my claustrophobic misery.

"Getting sick off it," I responded sarcastically as I reluctantly crawled out from behind the barrels. And then...well, I saw a genuine pirate standing before me. Despite his greasy appearance and messy hair, I found him attractive. Yes, I had retrogressed back to the same old pattern of looking at guys. To think, I never thought of myself as boy crazy before this trip. Well, at the end of the day, I will always pick Zexion out of all the faces in the crowd, no matter how appealing some guys admittedly are. I will not, in the slightest, cheat!

I sighed and held out my hand. "My name's Xion. I just wanted to know what being a pirate was like."

The pirate in turn shook my hand, pretending to be solemn, yet I glimpsed a certain gleam in his eyes that proved he could be rather crafty. Aren't all pirates that way, though?

"The name is Jack Sparrow," he told me. "Captain Jack Sparrow, since I am master of this ship, savvy?"

"Um...yeah. Sav—"

He placed a finger to my lips. "Only I say that, lass. It's a personal thing."

I nodded in understanding. "OK, sure. So, is there anyone else on this ship?"

What a stupid question! But, Jack informed me that there were two people he wouldn't mind me meeting. The moonlight practically blinded my eyes as soon as I got up on deck.

There was a woman named Elizabeth Swann and an obvious love interest of hers, whose name was Will Turner. For some odd reason, I took an extreme aversion to the latter. I mean, he looked like someone millions of girls would scream for. If he so much as glanced at them, they would pass out.

I rolled my eyes at this dude. "Oh, look here, we got a pretty boy on board. You don't look street enough for the job, buddy."

"I could have told you that," Jack hissed jokingly in my ear. It seemed those two guys had a rivalry/friendship going on, because Will glared at the both of us.

"I heard that," he bluntly told us, somewhat offended. "And just because you helped me out a tight situation, Sparrow, doesn't mean—"

The captain dismissively waved his hand, not in the mood for Pretty Boy's oncoming rant, apparently. "Of course it does, mate. You owe me a large debt, and I am intent to force you to keep paying it. It's a pirate's dealings, you see."

Elizabeth appeared slightly affronted from hearing such attacks against her friend. "Oh be quiet, Jack. You never know when to quit!"

"You should know that by now, lass," he flirted with her, though she blatantly rejected this advance. I grinned slyly, deciding to maybe interfere with the past. After all, as a traveler of time and space, I could not pass this up. Leaning toward Elizabeth, I let her in on something.

I cleared my throat before whispering, "Hey, if I were you, I'd pick the pirate. Pretty Boy might not be all he's cracked up to be."

The blonde's shocked expression was priceless, and I could hardly resist laughing when she dragged me off toward the other side of the ship.

"Are you insane?" she incredulously asked me, hardly believing what I just said. "I don't know where you come from, but it's obviously where girls show absolutely no discretion."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Oh, please Liz, you know you like Jack. You can't resist the adventurous type. In fact, the last time I checked, women in the 1700's don't randomly go on pirate ships. If anything, I think you're into adventure, too."

She fought for a comeback—oh, believe me, she did—but she ended up blushing.

"I cannot believe you are such a judge of character," she admitted half-grudgingly, half-submissively.

Without any second guessing involved on my part, I knew I had won the debate. Let's face it, I can be convincing. By the time we caught up with the boys again, I saw Luxord trying to wheedle gold out of Jack, no doubt. Number Ten can never get enough of munny, considering his gambling addiction. He could just go around anywhere to try to get it. Besides, he's always wanted to be a pirate, too.

"So, you think I could just give you my money just like that, hm?" Jack stroked his beard while gazing suspiciously at the blond guy. "Not all of us pirates are as stupid as you think, mate."

"How about I give you my share of gold?" Luxord attempted to negotiate.

I was tempted to laugh at him for being an idiot. He could weasel and persuade all he wanted; it was doubtless that it would work for him.

"Hey, Lux," I called out to him. "Did you know that we might not even have the same currency as them? Huh? Did you ever think of that?!?"

Luxord, somewhat bewildered, raised his eyebrows at me. "Xion, if you dare to interfere, I'll—"

Jack nodded, as though his doubts had been realized. "I figured as much. The robe that you wear is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Clearly, you're from a different part of the world at the very least."

"None of you pirates can be trusted," Pretty Boy (I mean, Will, sorry) muttered derisively.

I'm guessing that he thought Luxord was really a pirate. Ha, that's a hilarious assumption! Unfortunately, Luxord got out his Nobodies.

"Whoa, not one to go down without a fight, are you?" I inquired of him, shaking my head and sighing. "Don't worry, guys, I'll handle this."

The three young adults stared at each other, wondering what tricks I would pull out. I got out my Keyblade, which I spun about for showing off purposes before jumping in to fighting Luxord. Maybe he shouldn't have pretended to be a pirate.

"You'll regret this, Xion," he forewarned me. "You always disrespect your superiors."

"That's what makes it fun, Lux," I replied, beaming like a light bulb.

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**A/N: ****Fun facts time, make all your lives more satisfying! XP**

**1) I thought it'd be hilarious if Xion landed right smack in the middle of town.**

**2) Yes, I referenced Jack's love of rum. I feel bad that I couldn't reference the "Jar of Dirt" song for you guys, though.**

**3) I hate Orlando Bloom. Therefore, I hate his character as well. MORE HATE MAIL! XD I just always considered him Britain's version of Keanu Reeves.**

**4) "Traveler of time and space..." Vague Led Zeppelin ("Kashmir") reference, I know. Ironically enough, that song was used in Short and Honest Version, too. It's coincidence, though, I swear to God this wasn't pre-meditated. It just appeared on my paper.**

**5) Obviously, due to #3, I love the Sparrabeth pairing to death.**

**6) I also swear to God that Luxord aspired to be a pirate in his past life. XD**

**Thursday is the Lion King chapter! Story will be fini on Friday. XD**


	14. Pridelands SafariOnly Without the Jeep

**A/N: All right, guys, last Disney world here with the Lion King chapter. Yay! I personally thought I could have done better humor-wise, but I hope you guys like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 14: Pridelands Safari (Only without the Jeep)**

The fight with Luxord didn't last all that long, or else I would have told about it in more detail in the last chapter. See? Not everything needs to be unabridged in this story. After I killed off his Nobodies, Number Ten didn't look like his calm self. He looked _angry_.

"I will inform our Superior of your disrespect, Xion. Enjoy the rest of your trip," he told me sarcastically before vanishing into a portal. Oh man, I was going to be dead by the time this trip was over.

Looking sheepishly over at the three bystanders, I sighed, "Oh well...I won't tell you how I know him. The only important thing you need to know is that I dislike him."

They all simultaneously nodded before exchanging goodbyes with me. Pretty Boy's was coldly polite.

"Goodbye to you too, man." I shook my head disapprovingly at him before moving on to Liz.

"Remember," I whispered in her ear, making sure this was put into her head. "Pirates are more fun to go out with. Not high society? Well, too bad, they're as fun as a barrel of rum monkeys."

Rum monkeys. That's a new one I need to write down somewhere. But, it sounded good at the time due to a pirate's love for alcohol. Speaking of which, I said goodbye to Jack last.

"Later, man, it was fun while it lasted."

"Twas a pleasure, Xion." He mockingly bowed, pretending to be a gentleman of his word. And, since I could say I knew Jack, this would be a long standing joke in itself. I got off the ship and wandered over to my own ship. Geoffrey would certainly be an updated luxury in comparison.

Wondering what the Pridelands were like, I steered over toward that direction next. I do love animals, especially cats. Dogs are fine too, but nothing beats a purring cat on your lap. Of course, these would be big cats, but I was sure they'd be just as nice. As soon as I landed, though, I was in for a surprise, both pleasant and unpleasant.

"OK, can anyone tell me why I can't stand up on my own two feet?!?" I inquired irritably to the universe as I tried to get up. But, for some reason, I kept regressing back to all fours. And why was I holding my weapon in my mouth? Oh, no...

Gazing into a rain puddle, I found out the answer the hard way. "Ahhhh! I'm a kitty! I mean, I'm a lion cub. What the heck?!?"

I proceeded to freak out, running in many circles until I glimpsed three hungry animals.

I'm sure black fur and blue eyes in prey would turn off predators, or so I hoped. Then again, predators usually aren't fond of first-class dining. They'll take what they can get. So, these hyenas approached me, while I awkwardly stood there.

"Mm, dark meat, the best kind," the female hyena who lead the other two remarked.

I wrinkled my now cute nose. "Oh, please don't! White meat tastes way better. Besides, since when did hyenas eat lions?"

"Correction," the smarter male hyena spoke, "you are a lion _cub_. Therefore, you are helpless, weak, and defenseless against our teeth. Looks like we have ourselves a feast."

"Aw, man," I groaned, not wanting to die like this. This was right up there with drowning in the whole "worst deaths" category.

Fortunately, two animals who seemed to be my allies rushed to my side to defend me. I had no idea who those two were, but I was nonetheless grateful toward them.

"Not so fast!" the meerkat proclaimed once he and his warthog buddy arrived. "I didn't think you hyenas would be so low as to eat a cub. Just...just..."

He trailed off upon seeing the hyenas licking their chops his way, causing him to slap himself. "Oh, what was I thinking? Pumbaa, get us out of—!"

Pumbaa shook his head while telling me, "You just go. Timon and I can handle this."

"What?!? No, we can't!" Timon panicked, but I ran off, so I didn't hear the rest.

However, just as I started to get used to running like a four-legged critter, I realized that I _did _have my weapon with me. Yeah, Xion, you could have thought of this way sooner.

"Oh, duuuh!" I yelled, hitting myself with a paw before heading back where I came. The diversion Pumbaa and Timon had created was hilarious but ineffective. The meerkat was doing the hula while his friend presented himself as appetizing. Since they did this for me, though, I wasn't going to let them get eaten.

I said to the hyenas in a singsong way, "I'm baaaaack!" before fending them off with my Keyblade. The head hyena appeared extremely confused yet frightened.

"What the heck is that thing?!? No feast today, fellas, we're leaving!"

And so, all three hyenas ran away to Kingdom Hearts knew where.

I turned toward Timon and Pumbaa and shook...paws with them as my way of saying thanks for helping out. And they didn't even know me!

"Seriously, though, doing the hula shouldn't have been a last resort," I slightly reprimanded.

"Hakuna matata," they simultaneously said, leaving me confused.

Pumbaa noticed my expression and clarified, "It means 'no worries.' Timon and I say it all the time, but he's not that relaxed. You're too stressed."

"Are you kidding? I'm as calm and laid-back as you!" Timon defended himself, which led to a quarrel between the two. I chuckled before interfering.

"Guys, relax! You're not following through on your motto."

Pumbaa and Timon exchanged glances and sighed, probably feeling like hypocrites.

With a resigned air, the meerkat said, "You're right...Hey, what's your name anyway? It's kind of weird that we'd save ya without knowing your name."

"It's Xion," I replied for the hundredth time that day. "So, do these hyenas pester lion cubs every day?"

"It's usually just us," Pumbaa explained rather sheepishly. "But, you know, that's how it works. It's a hyena eat warthog world out there!"

"I'm sure. So...hm, I guess what I really want to know is if you have any friends. I'd like to meet them."

Since those charming two decided they liked me all right, they took me back to their "pad" (or so Timon called it) to meet a special friend of theirs. He lay out on the precipice of a cliff, staring out into the sunset.

"Hey, Simba," Timon called out to the half-grown lion. "We have a new friend here!"

Stretching out like a regular cat would, Simba quickly licked himself before walking over to greet me. Blech, I couldn't think about licking myself! Just because I was an animal now didn't mean I had to act like one. Besides, licking could hardly be considered proper hygiene.

Simba then shook paws with me as well. "How'd you get to know my friends?"

"Well, I got into a bit of a skirmish with these hyenas and..."

"They helped you out? That was nice of them. Usually, they wouldn't do that for just anybody."

Hahaha, what a comforting thought! Teasingly yet pointedly, I stared at those two for a long time until Timon fidgeted.

"Don't stare at us like that! We run away from those hyenas for survival purposes."

"Uh-huh, suuuuure," I teased.

"Yeah, that's pretty hard to believe, Timon," Simba joined in, and we both laughed.

Pumbaa tried defending himself next. "Well, you know, Simba, we can't possibly be as heroic as you."

"Cut the crap!" I grinned.

"Hahaha, you're doing a worse job at defending yourself than Timon, Pumbaa!"

We kept antagonizing the two best friends until it didn't entertain us any more. It was then when Simba and I told them, "Hakuna matata," to show we weren't being sincere about it. It was all in the spirit of good, clean fun.

Timon nervously nodded. "Uh-huh, just don't do it again."

Pumbaa joined in, "Yeah, you were making us nervous."

"Clearly," Simba and I said at the same time before I had to say goodbye. It had been a long gummi ship trip around the worlds, and now it was time to go home. I patted each of my new friends on the back before departing.

As soon as I was human again inside Geoffrey, I set off for the World That Never Was. I reflected to myself about the adventure, about its highs and lows. Well, the really low part was seeing the expressions on some of the members' faces. I would be murdered for sure! But, then, I pondered over the highs.

The friends I had made, the fun times I had had, the freedom of it all—it really got me into an introspective mindset. It was highly doubtful I would experience a trip of such magnitude and epic-ness ever again. So, I enjoyed it while it lasted. That's the thing about spontaneous adventures: you have to make each moment count. If you don't, you just might miss something. Also, it can make you really treasure your loved ones.

So, home to my best friends Roxas, Axel, and Namine, home to crazy people...and home to Zexion.

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**A/N: ****Not too many fun facts here today. Oh, well.**

**1) Jeeps are sometimes used in safaris. Wanted to be all clever with the chapter title in that way. XD**

**2) The hula part is in the movie ("What do you expect me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?"). XDD It's also my fave, in case you couldn't tell already.**

**3) Hyena eat warthog--my attempt at being clever with the whole "dog eat dog world" phrase there.**

**That's all the facts. I know. XD But, this chapter was basically all conversation. After all, Timon and Pumbaa are chatty. Anyway, the last chapter you will all be pleased with, because all the members of the Organization appear in some form or another. It's too bad the rest of the story hadn't been like that.**

**Well, tomorrow's the last chapter, guys! Later.**


	15. Home Bittersweet Home

**A/N: In which Xion proudly returns home, though is faced with some various types of randomness. Enjoy this last chapter of the "Xion's Opinions" sort of mini-series. Yes, I'm hanging this up for good. It's time, you see. All good things must come to an end. Sigh. Well, here it is. XD**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 15: Home Bittersweet Home**

I parked Geoffrey into the gummi garage back at the Castle for the Terminally Insane once I returned home. You know how they say home sweet home? Well, since we Nobodies are the polar opposite of good ole regular humans, I say home bittersweet home. I think you'll know what I mean. Once I quietly emerged from the garage, Xemnas, Saix, Xaldin, Luxord, and Vexen all crowded around me, glaring daggers into my eyes.

"Number Fourteen...," they all growled.

"You disobeyed orders...even though I did grant you my permission to go on your trip!" Xemnas scolded.

"You stole my Replica!" Vexen falsely accused (I did not and why would I?).

"You broke my leg!" Xaldin bellowed, motioning to a cast on his right leg. Oh, sorry, Xaldy—not!

Luxord just threw a custom made Organization XIII vase at me, which I luckily missed. I don't know what that was about, but the dude sure was ticked.

I laughed nervously. "Heh-heh-heh....hey, guys, what's up?"

"Oh, I will be more than happy to tell you what is up, Fourteen. You are—"

But, before Xemnas finished his intimidating sentence, Saix told me lowly, "Thanks to your curse, Fourteen, I have lost my most esteemed throw pillow. Care to know where it is?"

Throw pillow—what the heck? I ran away before I could die, and I sprinted toward the only place that was remotely a refuge: Namine's room. She saved me millions of times before. As soon as I slammed her door shut, I was in for a shock.

Axel was in the process of gently kissing her, holding her as my female best friend told me candidly she wanted to be held by a guy. Once I intruded, they stopped.

"Oh, hey, Xion," Axel chuckled anxiously, scratching his head in his preferred nervous habit. "Long time, no see. Hey, where did you go anyway?"

"Out, but now I'm back," I replied just as awkwardly.

Namine looked like she had turned every shade of red in her box of crayons while she nearly ducked out of sight under her table. Then, I squealed.

"Awwww, you guys are finally together! I thought I'd never see the day!" I rapturously declared, pretending to wipe a tear from my eye.

"Me neither," Axel muttered, almost under his breath.

Relieved that I approved of this match, however, my friends looked considerably less tense and happier than I had ever seen them. Namine's smile was especially glowing.

"We were worried you wouldn't like us together. You know...because of the whole 'friends' issue and all that."

I placed an arm around each of my friends. "I would never think that of my two buddies! You two were made for each other, as ordained by the stars."

"You and your astrology obsession," Axel sighed helplessly as he removed my arm from his shoulder. "Look, Xion, Namine and I are a couple now. So, could you just get out of here already?"

"Will do!" I winked at the both of them before getting out of there pronto.

Dancing my way down the stairs, I was so very pleased that destiny smiled upon my good pals. They would be the best couple in the world, I was confident of it. I then resolved to go find Roxas to be more specific about the details of my trip. I couldn't exactly tell my story to Axel or Namine, since they obviously just got together before I interrupted. Ah, so unromantic of me to do that! Oh well, I'd talk to Roxas, who ended up being preoccupied with playing video games with Demyx.

"Don't pass go, don't go over $200, Dem!" Rox challenged before killing Demyx's video game character. Poor Number Nine looked to be in complete agony over his loss. He even used the controller to hit his head.

"Aww, I can't even fight in virtual reality!" he moaned while Roxas just laughed and enjoyed the show. Upon seeing me, the two boys composed themselves.

"What's up, Xi-Xi?" Roxas greeted jokingly, using Xig's nickname for me.

"Nothing much, Rox-Rox," I cheekily replied. "But, I did go on an epic trip."

"Without me, Shorty, and Axel?" Demyx asked in a whiny tone, though smiled all the same. "'Course, I wouldn't want Axel around, but still..."

I crossed my arms behind my head. "I wanted it to be solitary. Wanna know the details?"

Roxas' blue eyes widened with interest then he shook his head. "Not now, Xion, Dem and I are playing video games."

"Yeah, and no girls allowed today!" Demyx chimed in. "We decided that Roxas' room should be the clubhouse."

I could tell that Demyx was joking by feigning a ten-year-old boy's identity. Still, not having my guy friends hear my story was kind of disappointing for me. I mean, I really wanted to talk to somebody. Friends from other worlds weren't as awesome as friends at home.

I sighed huffily, "Hmph, boys and their mindless video games," before leaving, despite my strong love for the geeky hobby. I was just getting a tad upset that no one wanted to listen to me, now that I was back. I was an actor who craved an audience and a spotlight. Oh well, what could _I _do about it? Continuing my walk down the corridor, I was interrupted by Xigbar hanging upside down on the ceiling.

"Hey, kid, did the road trip go all right?" he asked curiously.

Wryly smiling up at him, I nodded a little. Wow, I didn't even muster enough words to correct him on the "road trip" remark like I had with other people all this time. Odd. Hey, maybe Xigbar...

But, Lexaeus cut in before I remotely said anything, and he wanted a sparring partner. So, the second-in-command gracefully landed on his feet before the two guys teleported to the gym. OK, training is always important...I guess. Going off on my own again, I was desperate enough to do the inevitable. Talk to Marluxia and Larxene which always makes me shudder out of revulsion. But, I discovered them making out in a closet, so that was a huge no-no.

Ugh, just one person to talk to please! Too bad the angry mob returned as I recovered from the closet incident.

"Number Fourteen, you should have been aware of my lack of sleep that morning! You should not have psychotically toyed with my mind!" Xemnas, the leader of our Organization and, ironically enough, this mob against me shouted.

"I also could not concentrate on Kingdom Hearts because of your witch's curse," Saix murmured both darkly and dismally.

"Guys, I'll take your complaints one at a time," I assured, raising my hands up in defense. "If you can all just form in a peaceful, tranquil single file line, I'm sure—"

"RRROOOOOOOAAAARRRR!!!" They all charged at me, bellowing like this one guy with blue face paint off this movie I watched for five minutes. Knowing I could not take on five full-grown dudes at once, I squeezed my eyes shut. In the nick of time, though, I was spared from pain.

A portal rescued me, and I was taken to a certain illusionist's perpetually neat and tidy room that not even a tsunami could obliterate.

"Xion, you will never get yourself out of scrapes like these. Kingdom Hearts knows what you did this time," a familiar voice commented with a sigh.

Upon turning around and staring into Zexion's perfect blue eyes, I squealed, "Zexy!" and hugged him like a cute plushie. He instantly wrapped his arms around me, returning my embrace.

"I missed you," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. "I was beginning to worry that you'd never come back."

"I missed you, too," I whispered back, clinging to him. "I never stopped thinking about you the whole time. Weird, huh?"

As we stepped back from each other's hold, I played with a purplish strand of his hair absentmindedly as he responded, "It's better that you thought of me often than not at all."

Aww, he was so selfish when it came to me! I thought it was adorable. Everything about him seemed to profess just how adorable he was. In fact, why didn't I think of it before? Really, did I ever...? But, I hadn't said it to him yet! Why was I so stupid and asking myself so many questions?!?

My face somber for once, I told him, "You know, Zexion, that trip made me figure out a lot of things. But, I think the most important one is...is...how much I love you. I mean, I only showed it through actions, though I never put them into words. But, I really do. I love you."

At first, Zexion displayed absolutely no reaction, which kind of scared me. Sure, I knew we're Nobodies, though that scared me worse. What if his logic intervened with his feelings? I must have looked confused, for he put those thoughts to rest by passionately kissing my lips and holding me even tighter. Sighing, I rested my head against his chest once our kiss ended.

"I love you, too," he murmured affectionately, giving my soul wings.

Once the sappy stuff was out of the way, he proceeded to ask, "Now, how was your trip?"

And he appeared ready to listen too, judging by the way he sat on his bed with me close to him. He wanted details. Yes! At least one person would hear me around here.

I smiled genuinely at him. "It was great. So, I got on Xemnas' gummi ship..."

Sitting there for four hours, I told him my story like I told all of you. I knew then that I really did value those close to me, and I was wiling to appreciate and be with them in the long run.

* * *

**A/N: ****How about one last go of fun facts?**

**1) Obviously, I'm virtually obsessed with Axine. Thus why it was in the story.**

**2) There's this one dude in my honors classes who sometimes says, "Don't pass go, don't go over $200," at the randomest times. This is why Roxas says this Monopoly phrase, because it absolutely makes no sense and does not apply to video games. XD**

**3) From what I understand it, Axel and Demyx don't really like each other that much in "Days." So, I decided to be all in-canon about that.**

**4) How ironic that Saix would call Xion a witch after she dressed up as one in Halloween Town. Hmm...**

**5) That movie reference is "Braveheart", my friends.**

**6) Come on, one last go of Zexion/Xion. You know you all wanted it! XD**

**And so, this series yet not series ends. Well, I'd like to thank everybody who reviewed not only on the first one but on the sequel as well...in case I don't do that enough. XP Anyway, Divine Wolf, thanks for giving me your opinion on almost every last darn chapter of the Xion's Opinions stories. That was awesome. XD And Rawkstar Vienna, thanks for your praising (if not random XD) reviews. **

**Everybody else, you're not left out. God, if I had an acknowledgement list, it'd be five pages long on Word. I'm serious. So, thanks everybody for making Xion's Opinions 1 and 2 a success!!! XD**


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